Twitter Dee Dee (I'm Twitter Dee Dumb)

If you have no idea what this Twitter thing is all about, get in line behind yours truly. The way I understand it, people constantly give short updates on what they are doing. I guess the updates are called "Tweets"? I guess you can sign up to get other people's constant updates, but to that I say, "TWHAT"? and "TWHY"? That sounds kind of annoying to me.

I thought I was successfully avoiding the Twitter craze, but I recently discovered that I'm not. You see, my 2 1/2 year old son is a twitterer, or a tweeter, or twhatever. He does it all.day.long.

It starts in the morning, with, "I have Puppy!...I'm going down the stairs...I eating my waffle...I dropped my cup...". Throughout the day I hear, "I'm building a tower...I'm going down the slide...I'm making this puzzle...I'm eatin' a snack...I'm playing with my friend", etc.

He also likes to get updates on what I'm doing throughout the day. "Mommy, your hair is wet?... Mommy, you eating yogurt?... Mommy, you getting dressed?..." These inquiries MUST be answered immediately, or I will be forced to hear their repeated echoes rattling around in my feeble brain for hours, like the tune of a song you hear but can't get out of your head. "Yes, Dylan, my hair is wet... Yes, Dylan, I'm eating yogurt... Yes, Dylan, I'm getting dressed..."

One day this past weekend, while dining at Hoss's, my potty training sweetheart shouted, "MOMMY! YOU WENT POTTY ALL BY YOURSELF?!? YOU WENT PEE OR POOP ON THE POTTY?", as I made my way back to our table. "Yes, Dylan, I did. Pee, if you must know". "Where's my damn sticker?", (I asked a red faced, laughing Jim, not Dylan).

Turns out, I was right on with my assessment of Twitter. It IS a little annoying. But, in case anyone is wondering, I'm about to turn off my computer. Then, I will walk up the stairs. Then, I will brush my teeth, wash my face, climb into bed, sigh, and snuggle down into my pillow, before falling asleep. Oh, sorry. I skipped something. I will also pee on the potty, all by myself.

The Quiz

Apparently, I was a guest poster over at Juggling Life today! Talk about "Juggling Life"! I didn't even know until ... uh, 8:11pm today. It is a quiz for all of you to give your husbands, so please head over there and have some fun!

Let me know if you give your husband the quiz, or if you want to write a post about it. I plan to post Jim's answers soon, and I'll link to you, or at the very least, your husband will have bragging rights!

Birth Control Woes

I need to RANT. I've tried not to get into this, but I think I just need to vent, so I can move on. If you are a man, you might want to skip reading this post.

A couple months ago, I went to Giant Eagle on a Saturday, to get a new pack of birth control pills. There was a HUGE line for the pharmacy, so instead of standing there while all my groceries melted, I decided to come back later. That was a good thing, because when I came back, there was no line. I gave the guy with the "I'm Training" pin, my name, and waited. When he came back, he informed me,

"You have no refills on this prescription".
"WHAT?!?!", I exclaimed.
"You have no refills on this prescription", he remarked a bit louder this time.
"You have my phone number. Why didn't you call and tell me that, so I didn't drive all the way over here?"
"I think someone tried".
"I THINK NOT".
(He was beginning to look uncomfortable, but just stood there shifting his weight from one foot to the other).
"Listen, I obviously can't call my gynecologist until Monday to get another prescription, so can you just give me a couple? If I miss days, I'm going to get all messed up".
"No, sorry"
(I'm not sure why I do stuff like this, but I just stood there looking at him menacingly, not saying anything. He became more and more uncomfortable, and started looking over his shoulder at his coworkers as if to say, "Help?" Just about the time a bead of sweat formed on his temple I shouted, "AARRRGGGGHHH!", making the poor kid jump, and stormed off).

Messed up is right. I ended up not getting time to call on Monday or Tuesday. By then, I had officially missed too many pills. If you take birth control pills, you know that when you make an appointment to come in and have your yearly exam, THEN they will send in a new prescription. What is the big deal? They act like you might be selling the things on the black market.

Our vacation was in a week or so, and when you start a new pack, you might have spotting. I really didn't want that aggravation on vacation, so I put off starting the new pack until we got home.

To make a long story short(er), now that I am on the new pack, I'm a wreck. I'm irritable, I'm exhausted, and my face looks like the before in an acne commercial. I'm angry. When I went to the gynecologist, I asked, "Why don't you guys send reminder postcards when it's time to make an appointment, like other doctors do?" Her reply? "We don't do that". Well, gee, that makes sense. Glad I asked?! I was tempted to look at HER until a bead of sweat formed on her temple.

Library Score

I love the library. (I'm a great big nerd, and I'm proud of it). I've been taking Dylan quite often, since it has finally become doable. There were a few misfires, when he wasn't old enough yet. He just ran all over the place, wildly grabbing books from all the shelves and flinging them onto heaps on the floor, before cackling evilly and trying to climb a bookshelf.

But today, we went, and I was amazed at how enjoyable it has become. I picked up an alphabet book in which all the letters are different foods (Do I know my kid, or what?), some multicultural books that show families all around the world getting ready for bed and getting dressed, (I think it is important for kids to see that not everyone looks the same or does things the same.), and a Sesame Street potty video, (If anyone can motivate my kid to go potty, it's Elmo).

A while ago, I checked out a dvd that I must RAVE about. It is called Classical Baby - I'm Grown Up Now: The Poetry Show. Ridiculously long title, but ridiculously good dvd. Here's the description...

"Featuring the voices of performers Andy Garcia, John Lithgow, Elizabeth Mitchell, Gwyneth Paltrow, Susan Sarandon, and Jeffrey Wright, Classical Baby (I’m Grown Up Now): The Poetry Show consists of approximately a dozen short segments presenting well-known poems—and some surprises—in a unique format. Between each segment, children ranging in age from four to nine offer commentary and muse on the meaning and mystery of poetry".

The animation is gorgeous, the poetry is divine, the stars who narrate are perfect, and the commentary by the kids is adorable.

I could listen to this ...shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou are more lovely and more temperate... or this...
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach... for hours, but I'm weird that way.

Here's what the kids said...
"I like mysterious poems because they make me think, and I like thinking".
"A poem is a pretty way of saying something".
"Maybe you just love someone so much that there's no words for it and you just have to write what you feel".

What a genius idea to introduce children to poetry at an early age and to make it fun. And, if you're wondering, no I didn't receive a free dvd for this review, or any other form of compensation. I just like to let others know about cool stuff. If anyone out there would like to send me a flat screen TV, or an all expenses paid vacation, I'm sure I would be willing to RAVE about that also. Just so ya know.

After Dylan and I watched the dvd, I looked at him sitting there, still with his eyes glazed over and his mouth open, and asked, "Did you like that?" "Yea", he replied. "I love it!", I said. He looked at me, smiled, and said, "I love it too!"

Zoo Class

This morning, I took Dylan to a zoo class - "Itsy Bitsy Bugs". The class was at 9:30am, and I just remembered around 8:00am that it was today.

Here's a breakdown of the morning...

8:00 - "Holy crap! Today is the zoo class!!!"

8:10 - Convince Dylan to go upstairs, after explaining we are going to the zoo.

8:40 - After getting Dylan and myself dressed, pop in a "video", so I can pack the bag, make a quick phone call, and find the paper I need to take.

9:00 -Leave the house and drive, (a little too quickly, "Mommy! We're going FAST!"), to the zoo.

9:24 - Check in, get Dylan strapped in the stroller, and book it to the elevators.

9:25 - See the huge line and get him out of the stroller. Hold his hand, the bag, my purse, and the stroller as we go up the escalator instead.

9:27 - Put him back in the stroller and book it up the hill to where the class is. Think, "I might die from this heat". (It is 90 degrees and humid today).

9:32 - Arrive (only 2 minutes late, but sweaty and out of breath).

(The class was OK. He got to touch a millipede, and a cockroach. Look at a tarantula, caterpillars, and a stick bug. I thought the crafts were kind of lame, and the teacher needed to talk more on a 2 year old level. Me and the lady I was talking to were the only ones who didn't squeal or make faces when the teacher brought out the bugs. That being said, though, if I went to a reptile class, and a snake was involved, I might pee my pants. Dylan was losing interest by the end, and kept talking about seeing the polar bears.)

10:15 - Put him back in the stroller and go straight to the polar bears, passing the sharks and otters along the way.

10:30 - Stand in the tunnel watching the polar bear swim above us. So cool!

10:45 - Start walking (Dylan now out of the stroller), and suddenly he takes off down the path like lightning - ZOOM! Run like a maniac after him, screaming, "STOP!". Pull him out of a restricted area and put him back in the stroller.

11:15 - Go to Kids Kingdom, thinking he needs to get some energy worked off.

11:25 - Explain to him that he can only go on the blue slide, NOT the big ones because they are for the older kids. (The zoo's rule - not mine).

11:30 Go up the rope climb with Dylan because he won't go himself. Think, "I might die in this heat".

11:35 - Grab Dylan before he gets on the biggest slide and gets yelled at by the zoo worker. He then falls to the floor and goes limp, whining, "I want to go on this one!"

11:36 - Carry a crying, squirming Dylan down three flights of stairs, thinking, "I might pass out. What does heat exhaustion feel like?" Scream at Dylan "WE'RE DONE!", and leave Kid's Kingdom.

11:40 - Get lunch. Drink a bottle of water in about 3 gulps. Left the zoo thinking, "Going to the zoo on a 90 degree day is for fools". That, and "Next time I come to the zoo, I'm bringing backup".

12:05 - Leave the zoo, a hot sweaty mess.

We have one more class next week. Can't wait.

Jump In

Today I took the kids I'm a nanny for to the pool. As I splashed around in the pool with them, I noticed something. I was the only woman in the pool! Sure, there were moms all around the baby pool, but they were just sitting on the side with their feet in, sporting their designer sunglasses and perfectly pedicured toes. None of them seemed to want to get wet. None of them had wet hair. As a matter of fact, if an enthusiastic kid swam by and splashed them, they shrieked like little girls.

Right now, some of you, (or most of you, judging by today), are saying, "So?" To you, I say "WHY?" You've seen kids swimming and splashing around in the water. It looks like fun, doesn't it? Well, that's because... IT IS.

Jump in! Do a cannonball off the diving board. You just might laugh at yourself. You just might feel young again. Your kids just might think you're cool. Or that you've lost your mind, but who cares?

Listen, I've worked with kids for a long time. They are a great excuse to act like a great big kid yourself. Go ahead and make an ass out of yourself. The people who are looking at you are just jealous. They wish they had the guts to do the exact same thing.

Go down that water slide! (Not the one that gives you a giant wedgie, though. Trust me, no one wants to see that.). Sit your big butt down in the sand and make a sandcastle. Ride the waves. Chase a butterfly. Jump in a mud puddle. Go on the swings. Run barefoot through the grass. You'll give your kids a summer to remember, and I'm betting you'll remember it too.



* "If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older". (Abraham Sutzkener)

* "None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm". (Henry David Thoreau)

* "If wrinkles must be written upon our brows, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should not grow old". (James A. Garfield)

* "We grow gray in our spirit long before we grow gray in our hair". (Charles Lamb)

* "Little by little the time goes by, short if you sing it, long if you sigh. (Unknown)

Happy Father's Day

Dad,

One of my earliest memories is of a dream I had as a kid. In the dream, I was swimming in the ocean, when suddenly a huge, ferocious shark was coming towards me. I was so terrified that I couldn't move. Just as the shark was almost upon me, you jumped into the water, and pointed at the shark. You gave him your meanest look, (with the eyebrows), and shouted "GO AWAY!", and the shark did. My hero!

I think of that dream sometimes, Dad, and I realize... you're still my hero.

Happy Father's Day!

I love you,
Jen