I told Jim he should write this post, and he said "No, I'd have to be all witty and writery". "Writer-y" - I thought that was pretty witty, but fine, I'll write it, Jim. Jim often has dreams about being unprepared. He dreams he is unprepared at work, and sometimes at school. But, the dream he had a few nights ago, about being unprepared, takes the cake. He dreamt that we had enrolled Dylan in some high falootin, advanced preschool. One day, Dylan wasn't at preschool, but Jim was there, sitting indian style, amidst the preschool geniuses. The teacher was conducting a review of a children's book with the geniuses, going to each child to get their take on the ins and outs of the book. Jim was sweating it out, and going into a panic, and when the teacher got to him, he had to admit, he hadn't read the book. UNPREPARED!! The teacher told him he would have to do a book report on the book, and shamed him in front of the geniuses.
When he told me about the dream, I couldn't stop laughing. I could picture him sitting there, with the beads of sweat dripping down the back of his neck, as he prayed the teacher wouldn't call on him. I could picture the sheepish, embarassed look on his face when he had to mumble "I didn't actually read the book", as the geniuses gasped and shook their head, pitying him for his foolishness. I could picture him, face all red, shuffling his feet, as he asked me to help him with the book report!
When Dylan was about 5 months old I joined a club for moms. They have lots of different activities. One, is a book club, in which they get together once a month to review the book the've all been reading that month. I love books, and all, but when am I gonna find the time to read a book with 100 or more pages? I can't keep up with the magazines I get, or even the blogs I want to read! My idea of a book review, at this point in my life, would go something like this...
Today we are going to review, Good Night Gorilla, by Peggy Rathmann.
Yikes! The gorilla stole the zoo keeper's keys! What will happen next?! I'm at the edge of my seat already!
We already get clues that the zoo keeper is absent minded. The keys are color coded! Very ingenious - bet his wife thought of that.
Jim asked me one day, "When you read it to Dylan, what do you call the guy?" "The zoo keeper, what else?", I replied. "He has a name tag, you know", Jim remarked. And I say my husband is not observant. How the heck did I miss that? Oh, and also, what is wrong with Joe's fingers?
The zoo keeper, Joe, doesn't hear a gorilla, elephant, lion, hyena, giraffe, and armadillo walking behind him? Um, okay.
You notice in this picture the wife is on the side of the bed?
In this one, she is in the middle. So, how did the gorilla get in, and steal her pillow, without her noticing? Her husband must really smell when he gets home, for her to not notice a gorilla in bed next to her. He must be pretty hairy, also.
Does the wife wake up the clueless husband, push his sorry ass out of bed, and tell him to take all the animals back to the zoo? No! She does it herself, because she knows, to get things done right, you have to do it yourself. This part, at least, I find to be very realistic.
Does the clueless husband have any idea of his blunder, or of the fact that his wife has saved the day once again? Nope. That Peggy Rathmann knows what she is talking about. Great book. I highly recommend it. (Bet you're wishing you wrote this now, huh, Jim?)