Tonight was ridiculous. You know that don't you? You usually do such a good job at restaurants. I mean, usually as long as I keep shoving the food at you, you are pretty content to be out of the house. Usually, you sit in your highchair, you charm everyone around you, and you keep the noise to a minimum. Usually people around us are smiling, and commenting on your cuteness. Tonight...well, you were there. What happened?
Your Confused Mom
We were just sitting there a loooong time, and no one was even coming over! I was bored! There was nothin' cool to look at, and did you see those people around us Ma? They were totally ignoring me! I tried smiling, and babbling at them nicely at first, but then I had to start screaming to get their attention. Then, they were shaking their heads and mumbling about how we should have went to McDonalds or Chuck E Cheese. People are rude, Ma.
Your Insulted Son
Dear Attention Addicted Son,
Yes, dear, people are rude, but screaming and dumping milk on your head usually won't win them over. Then, we had to go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond, where you were Bad, Boisterous, and Beyond. I mean, YOU are the main reason we had to go there in the first place. If you would keep your mitts out of the garbage can in the kitchen, we wouldn't have to go looking for one that is "toddler proof". When you refused to sit in the cart, or even be held, what happened there?
Your (Shocked At Your Strength) Mom
I don't understand you, Ma-Ma. You begged, and pleaded, and coached me for so long, wanting me to walk. Now, I can, and you want me to sit? In a cart? Or be carried? Like a BABY? It was a big store, Ma. There was so much to see, and touch, and knock down, and learn about. You said you were happy I'm curious about stuff.
Your Curious Son
Dear Using My Words Against Me Son,
Yes, you're right. What was I thinking? But, did you have to make such a scene? Like when you flung yourself on the floor, and went all limp noodle on me, so I couldn't pick you up? Or when I tried to change you in the ladies room, and you walked out when I turned my head for one second? Or when you were running through the store, oblivious to the people you kept running into, while screaming "AAHH! AAHH! AAHH!" People were staring.
Your Embarassed Mom
People were staring? I didn't notice. Ma-Ma! Wasn't it SO FUNNY when we got home, and even though I pretended I couldn't open it in the store, the very first thing I did when Da-Da opened the $60 garbage can box, was lift the lid? That was SO FUNNY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(Hiccup)
Your Really Funny Son
No, that really wasn't funny at all. But, you know what was? When Daddy put you IN the $60 garbage can! That was Hilarious!
Your Ma-Ma Who Loves You, Even On Nights Like This One