Sunday, January 6, 2008

My Date With A Ventriloquist

Last night was date night. I feel it is important for Jim and I to get out once in a while, to spend time alone together, and to, oh, I don't know...HAVE AN UNINTERRUPTED CONVERSATION! Lately, I feel like I never finish a sentence unless I am writing it. I told Jim one day, "If you want to know what's new with me, guess you'll have to read my blog!" Lately, dinner is a nightmare. I love having a passionate kid, but did his passion have to be food? When he wants to eat, he wants to eat NOW! NOW, WOMAN, NOW, WHY ISN'T THERE FOOD IN MY MOUTH YET?! I go into stressed out mommy mode, yanking the first thing I see out of the refrigerator or cabinet. I put him in the high chair, and he starts kicking his feet, and pointing to the tray. HERE, WOMAN, PUT THE FOOD RIGHT HERE, AND HURRY! I cut the food into toddler size pieces, and put a few on the tray in the spot he has shown me. He becomes The Eating Machine, putting one piece in his mouth, then immediately another, and another. As he is swallowing the first piece whole, without chewing or even tasting it, he is kicking and pointing and signing "more"! It is not a pretty sight, and it is making me crazy. Trying to arrange for the 3 of us to eat as a family is a logistical nightmare. Dylan is hungry around 5-5:30, Jim gets home between 6-7! If it does work out that we eat together, do you think it is remotely possible for Jim and I to have a conversation while The Eating Machine carries on, and gives bad table manners new meaning? Uh, no.

I was really looking forward to date night. We would go see a movie, (Juno), and sit down to a relaxing meal, and enjoy a deep, and meaningful conversation. But! (you probably knew that was coming, didn't you?), Father Time apparently had another trick to play on me, in the form husband's teeth falling out! Yep, when we were eating a couple days ago, he made a face, went "Huh!", and showed me a piece of his tooth he was holding in his hand. "Holy Crap!", I said, ever supportive, "Your teeth are falling out!!" You see, a tiny piece of another tooth fell out about a week ago. He already has an appointment in the middle of the month to have that one filled. But, this piece was big, and left his remaining tooth sharp and jagged.

So, there we were, on our date, and every time he would say something, he wasn't moving his lips! He says it hurts to talk because each time he moves his tongue, it scrapes along the jagged tooth. So, I spent my date with the ventriloquist, saying "What? What? WHAT?!" I kept picturing him pulling a dummy out of his coat.

Oh well, the movie was great. We both really enjoyed it. The food was delicious, and hey, I didn't have to make it. I didn't have to feed anyone but myself, or clean it up either. And, from what I understood of our conversation, it was quite deep and meaningful.


Hannah said...

"If you want to know what's new with me, guess you'll have to read my blog!" ... OMG, how true is this!! I feel the same way!

Date nights are GOOD though. Even with broken teeth. We had one on Friday. Sooooo nice to be FREE! Glad you enjoyed yours (and honed your listening skills). Hope your hubby's teeth are okay now!

Kellan said...

I think it is so great that you take special nights to go out for date night! My husband and I try to do that too - at least one night every several weeks. I'm sorry about your husband's teeth - ouch! Hope you have a great day. Kellan

Becky said...

Awww. Poor husband!

I want a date night so badly I can taste it. I'm sick of all of my conversations being interupted by our 6 year old and the baby shrieking. That's a great tradition.

Pam said...

Oh- teeth falling out...that doesn't sound good! I'm glad you got date night....hey-some days I would pay for silence! Not on date night though!

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

If my husband ever wants to see any photos, he has to check my blog. It's a great form of communication if you ask me.

I have the opposite problem at mealtime these days. It takes Alexis HOURS to eat a meal. She picks up a piece of food, studies it, turns it over, studies it some more, compares it to another piece, then very slowly chews it. Mealtime is a great time to see more forms of torture invented by toddlers.

Countess said...

My 2-year-old son used to be a really good eater, but the last several months he really should have starved to death. Today he ate 2 bites of cheerios for breakfast, then nothing else until 7 this evening, when he ate 1 1/2 pieces of pizza with black olives. (The only vegetable he willingly consumes.) Hopefully yours wont' go that route. It's almost as maddening as the previous incarnation of screaming "shove food into my mouth constantly" frenzy.

signed the Countess formerly known as Janet

Shellie said...

My husband and I just got my space to keep up with each other. Oh, and I'm so glad no one's tooth broke when we finally made it out to eat the other day. That was the best conversation we've had in ages. As for the kid, I remember wondering what it would be like to have our first child sitting at the dinner table with us. Little did I know all the antics that would follow and that it would nearly end my eating career.

Jen said...

Hannah, Glad you also were blessed with a date night! For some reason, when I read FREE, I heard it squealed high pitched like a little girl - that was exactly what you did, wasn't it?

Kellan, Jim was touched that some of you were concerned about him. It's not always about me, I guess.

Becky, Hope you get that date night soon!

Pam, Your husband's silence, or your kids, or all 3?

BBM, That sounds awful?! While Alexis is evaluating each piece and you are reading a magazine (or blogs), my pulse is racing and my hands twitching!

Countess, that would definately suck. I would be worried constantly that he wasn't getting enough to eat. I can't believe he'll eat olives - yuck!

Shellie, I didn't know you are a professional eater! Things are never exactly the way we picture them, are they?

Julia said...

We just started date night and are LOVING it! I'm glad you got a chance to get out. Poor Jim though, ouch.

Irene said...

We just started making a point of scheduling a date night once a month. Prior to that, we went out, alone, maybe twice a year? It was crazy.

I love date night, the last time there was a snowstorm and we went to a run down bar that has the best wings in the world. We ordered wings, enjoyed a pitcher of beer and watched a football game. It was just SO nice getting out! I can't wait until out next one!

Too bad about the teeth though. That is such a bummer!