My Date With A Ventriloquist

Last night was date night. I feel it is important for Jim and I to get out once in a while, to spend time alone together, and to, oh, I don't know...HAVE AN UNINTERRUPTED CONVERSATION! Lately, I feel like I never finish a sentence unless I am writing it. I told Jim one day, "If you want to know what's new with me, guess you'll have to read my blog!" Lately, dinner is a nightmare. I love having a passionate kid, but did his passion have to be food? When he wants to eat, he wants to eat NOW! NOW, WOMAN, NOW, WHY ISN'T THERE FOOD IN MY MOUTH YET?! I go into stressed out mommy mode, yanking the first thing I see out of the refrigerator or cabinet. I put him in the high chair, and he starts kicking his feet, and pointing to the tray. HERE, WOMAN, PUT THE FOOD RIGHT HERE, AND HURRY! I cut the food into toddler size pieces, and put a few on the tray in the spot he has shown me. He becomes The Eating Machine, putting one piece in his mouth, then immediately another, and another. As he is swallowing the first piece whole, without chewing or even tasting it, he is kicking and pointing and signing "more"! It is not a pretty sight, and it is making me crazy. Trying to arrange for the 3 of us to eat as a family is a logistical nightmare. Dylan is hungry around 5-5:30, Jim gets home between 6-7! If it does work out that we eat together, do you think it is remotely possible for Jim and I to have a conversation while The Eating Machine carries on, and gives bad table manners new meaning? Uh, no.

I was really looking forward to date night. We would go see a movie, (Juno), and sit down to a relaxing meal, and enjoy a deep, and meaningful conversation. But! (you probably knew that was coming, didn't you?), Father Time apparently had another trick to play on me, in the form of....my husband's teeth falling out! Yep, when we were eating a couple days ago, he made a face, went "Huh!", and showed me a piece of his tooth he was holding in his hand. "Holy Crap!", I said, ever supportive, "Your teeth are falling out!!" You see, a tiny piece of another tooth fell out about a week ago. He already has an appointment in the middle of the month to have that one filled. But, this piece was big, and left his remaining tooth sharp and jagged.

So, there we were, on our date, and every time he would say something, he wasn't moving his lips! He says it hurts to talk because each time he moves his tongue, it scrapes along the jagged tooth. So, I spent my date with the ventriloquist, saying "What? What? WHAT?!" I kept picturing him pulling a dummy out of his coat.

Oh well, the movie was great. We both really enjoyed it. The food was delicious, and hey, I didn't have to make it. I didn't have to feed anyone but myself, or clean it up either. And, from what I understood of our conversation, it was quite deep and meaningful.