Saturday, October 18, 2008

I Do Love Music, But I Hate Kindermusik

I have been at my new nanny job, with a 2 1/2 year old little girl, for 5 weeks now. The process of her warming up to me has been slow, and I mean S...L...O...W. Every Friday it is my job to take her to Kindermusik class. If you've never experienced the sheer joy of a Kindermusik class, let me get you up to speed. It involves a very excited teacher, children, and their mommies, daddies, nannies, or grandparents. The adults are to "model a love of music" to the children, by singing silly little songs, dancing around the room, and engaging in role play, all with a very high level of enthusiasm. Yes, you must be incredibly enthusiastic when modeling your "love of music".

A lot of the activities involve the parents or caregivers interacting with the children. Bouncing them on their legs, swinging them up into the air, or snuggling with them on their laps, are a few examples. There is just one problem with that. A, the little girl I watch does not want me to touch her in any way. Are you getting a picture of how this goes in your head? Well, here's how it my head.

*Oh Crap. Here we go. Lord, give me patience. I'm going to need it. Time to paste the smile on my face. This is fun! YAY! Yea, I've had more fun at the dentist's. Positive thinking is not working...

*Okay, she's getting out the instruments. Maybe that little boy is bored with the drums by (BOOM! BOOM! BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!)..maybe not. If I could just get my hands on those sticks the fun factor would increase exponentially...

*Oh, A is just sitting there. I should try to get her engaged. O.K. Man, what a look. Fine, I'll just sit here playing instruments myself. I LOVE music. Why is it Kindermusik, with a K, anyway? How about teaching them a love for spelling things correctly? GAH! I wonder what these people would do if I started beating myself in the head with the drum sticks?

(The singing begins). "It's our time to sing together. Our time to sing together. It's our time to sing together. Sing hello, hello. Shall we bounce?" (The adults start bouncing the kids on their legs, while singing). "It's our time to bounce together..."
*Oh great! She won't do it again. I'll just sit here bouncing my legs with an invisible kid on them like a freaking moron. What?! Don't look at me like that. I tried to get her to do it! I'm a good nanny, dang it.

(The teacher plays a CD). "What's that sound?"
*Seriously?! Kids, come on! It's the same dang sound EVERY WEEK! How can you not know what it is? It's the carpenter's hammer, and it goes rap, rap, rap, and I'm thinking of using it to smash these windows, so I can escape this torture.
"The carpenter's hammer goes rap, rap, rap, (everyone pounds on the floor), and his saw goes see saw, see saw". (Kids on laps are leaned way over to the right and then to the left).
*Hey, invisible kid on my lap, ya having fun? Love music yet?

*Here come the bells.
"Bells are ringing. Listen to them ringing. Bells are ringing. Listen to them ringing. Bells are ringing. Listen to them ringing. All through the day...and stop!" "Now, what should we do with our bells", the teacher asks.
*Oooh! Me! I have an idea. Heh. Keep smiling. Don't forget to smile.

*Oh geez. Here we go with the dust rags... (Everyone takes a dust rag, and dusts the air, the walls, each other, etc., while dancing around). "Dust, dust, dust, rest. Dust, dust, dust, rest..."
*Could she at least stay near me, so I don't feel like a complete loon? My house needs dusted, and cleaned, and organized. When am I ever going to unpack all those boxes? Is it even a remote possibility I'll be able to park my car in the garage this winter? Sigh. Keep smiling.

"Hey, A, isn't this fun?"
*O.K. Hey, invisible kid, isn't this fun? Oh, there's no need to thank me. I enjoy bringing you here every Friday. FRIDAY! Thank God, it's Friday!

*Man, that chick with the triplets, she's amazing. Look at how cute her kids are. She's always so happy and enthusiastic. How does she do it? Drugs. Must be some good drugs. Maybe she'll give me some so I can get through this. Can we just skip ahead to the Goodbye Song? I really love that part.


Nicole said...

AHHH HAHAHAHAH! Hilarious. So funny! What do you do with your little guy while you nanny? Does he go with you?

Janet said...

*snort* I especially loved when the teacher asked that loaded question about the bells. I'm not a fan of classes for kids with cutesy little names. The English language is hard enough to learn as it is.
Hopefully the kid will warm up to you soon!

Anonymous said...


The Girls' Mommy said...

You crack me up :)

Jonny's Mommy said...

That is hilarious. So very funny! I think I'd have some of the same thoughts...especially about the mother of the triplets. Like...what kind of drugs would get her through something like this?

Sparx said...

Oh My God, it sounds like hell - very funny though!

Kellan said...

Oh, you poor thing. I loved the images of you and the invisible kid - HA! Good luck - Kellan

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I suspected as much--that's why you'd never find me anywhere near a Gymboree or Kindermusik!

Don't drink the Koolaid!

Lijy said...

ha ha... it was funny.. the way you discribed the agony u went through..

but i always wished we had something like that in india. Even if its there, it can be afforded by the rich guys and film stars only, not by poor people like us :(

Burgh Baby said...

That? Did not disappoint. Better you than me!

JCK said... glad the new job is SO FUN. ;)

We have that class in our area. It is called Music Together. I did it once or twice with my kids and found it almost..torturous.

Shellie said...

I feel your pain. My kids would probably react the same and I'm their mom. Well, at least she should eventually warm up to you and then you can at least act like a loon with a kid joining in.

The Hardjono said...

Kindermusik with a K because it was originally created in Germany! So it is not mispelled... :-) It's how music is in German "musik"

Cheers :-)

The Hardjono said...

Kindermusik with a K because it was originally created in Germany! So it is not mispelled... :-) It's how music is in German "musik"

Cheers :-)

"Miss" Lindsay said...

I'm sorry that you had such an anxiety-ridden experience - that's not how the class is supposed to be! Just so you know, it's totally developmentally appropriate for a toddler to walk around and explore during a Kindermusik class. Kids in the Our Time age range do tend to have quite a few independent moments whether they're with a new nanny or their own parent. Classes like Kindermusik are full of stimulation, and the fact that "A" actually felt comfortable enough to branch out on her own and explore is really a testament to her confidence in herself, and is evidence that she did feel safe with you.

Anonymous said...

I sorry that you do not like Kindermusik. My daughter is in Kindermusik and it has actually helped her learn to speak.

Kindermusik comes from the German word "kinder"-meaning child and "musik" (the German word for music -that is why there is a "k" at the end of Kindermusik.

I am not drinking the koolaid, but we joined Kindermusik as there is not much outdoor activity throughout the year for toddlers in MN. This is a good opportunity for kids to be with other children.

Anonymous said...

poor girl been left with someone so not into children like you.
i wonder if when she was sad or experiencing a tantrum you would beat her?
-and i quote- yay!!