Thursday, January 13, 2011

The Annual Physical

 Back when I was having some physical problems (extreme exhaustion), and had a bunch of blood tests, (which all came back perfectly normal), my doctor convinced me to come in for an annual physical in January.  I went last week.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

I have been going to this doctor for 8 years, and I really like her.  She is very laid back, very friendly, and extremely thorough.  You know how most doctors hardly look at you, and rush through the appointment at lightning speed?  Not her.  Here's the problem.  (You knew there was going to be a problem, right?)  All the things that make her great... make her terrible.

I made my appointment for 9:30am.  I had to drop Dylan off at preschool at 9:00 and pick him up at 12:00. That would be plenty of time, right?  WRONG.  I was ushered into the examining room at 9:40.

9:40 - Oh, cool!  That didn't take long at all.  She is usually running late, but I'm already in the examining room.  The nurse said she should be in shortly and that I'm next.

9:45 - Man, this is a big examining room.  Way back in the corner, like I've been bad or something.  I feel like I'm in time out.

9:50 - Holy crap, it is cold in here!  Why does it have to be so cold?  Isn't that nurse freezing, with a short sleeved shirt on?  Would the doctor think I'm weird if she came in, and found me with my gloves on?  Oh, she'll be in soon.  I'll be fine.

10:00 - I cannot believe she didn't come in yet!  My appointment was for 9:30!  I am so flippin' cold!  At least I'm not waiting in the waiting room, catching everyone else's germs.

10:15 - This. Is. Ridiculous!  WHY didn't I bring something to read?  They could at least put some magazines in here, so I have something to do.  There are SO many things I could be doing right now.  I didn't really need to get a physical, did I?  I could really go for something warm to drink right about now.  Tea, hot chocolate... Great, now I'm thirsty AND cold.

10:30 - I have been waiting for ONE HOUR!  This is INSANE!  I hate doctors.  I really do.  They think their time is so much more important than mine.  My time is nothing.  Not like I have anything to do.  Just a huge to-do list that is just sitting there, while I sit in this FREEZING COLD EXAMINING ROOM WITH NOTHING TO DO!  GAH!!  I am starting to really get mad.  I need to calm down.  Not looking at my watch every three seconds would probably help, too.

10:40 - I cannot take this anymore.  They must have forgotten about me.  (Opening the door, and sticking my head out).  "HELLO?!"  (Seeing a nurse)  "Oh!  Excuse me, do you have any idea when..."
AAARRRGGGHHH!  (Going back in the room and sitting back on the uncomfortable chair).  That is IT!  I am putting my coat, AND my gloves on.  If I would have known I was going to sit here for AN HOUR AND TEN MINUTES, I would have just laid down to take a nap.  (Leg beginning to bounce up and down, and eyebrow beginning to twitch).  I. AM. SO. MAD!

10:45  (Leg still bouncing and eyebrow still twitching).  What would they do if I just threw this chair against the wall?  I bet someone would come in THEN.  Hmmm... Wonder if I can surf the internet on this computer?  I bet if I threw this computer against the wall someone would come in really quick.  OMG, I am actually envisioning myself doing that now.  OMG, what if I actually have an out of body experience and do it?  Just stand up and throw the computer against the wall in the doctor's office?  What would they do?  That would be quite the story, huh?  Could I possibly have Adult ADD?  Why am I this mad about waiting?  BECAUSE IT HAS BEEN AN HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES IN A COLD ROOM WITH NOTHING TO DO!  AARRRGGGHHH! (Doing lamaze breathing to calm myself down.  Trying to imagine myself on a tropical island drinking a pina colada).

10:50  AN HOUR AND TWENTY MINUTES!!  I AM GOING TO TELL THAT DOCTOR OFF!  THE NERVE!!  Right after I throw this chair against the wall....
"Hi Jennifer!  It's good to see you!  How are you?"...
"...Oh... ummm... I'm...good". (Sigh)


Brooke said...

Isn't that infuriating!?!?! I actually DID fall asleep waiting for my dentist earlier this week. But I had a big reclining, comfy chair and it was quiet and WARM. You are hating me right now, aren't you? :D

Elissa said...

yup. that's about it, isn't it?

Burgh Baby said...

That pretty much sums it up. Exactly.

Anonymous said...

How frustrating! Please tell me she apologized and had a good excuse?!

I had an appointment with a specialist back in November that had been on the books for 6-weeks. I arranged childcare and my husband made sure he was off from work to go with me . . . and they called me the morning of the appointment to cancel! (Apparently the doctor had to go do surgery unexpectedly, but it was still frustrating!)

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

Oh yeah, this sounds familiar..but almost an hour and a half?! I don't think I've been made to wait that long. All those thoughts though...they've gone through my head too and then I'm all sweet when the doctor comes in.