My Husband Is Evil

I think those of you who have been reading this blog lately know that my stress level has been on Code Red - Mayday! Mayday! Now, Dylan has tonsillitis, which he came down with , shockingly enough, 3 days after we took him to the Science Center. He has had a high fever, hasn't wanted to eat much, and has been waking several times through the night. Last night he woke me up 4 times. He would just cry/whine about 5 minutes, then fall immediately back to sleep, but that was just long enough to wake me up and send me into concerned mommy mode, lying there worrying and unable to go back to sleep.

Also, this week at work, I played a marathon game of Two Square with Big Bro, chased Little Sis around the yard playing "Tickle Monster", and perched myself on top of a precarious wagon to trim cherries off of their cherry tree so the kids could help their grandma make a pie. At some point, I hurt my back, and after I write this, I'm off to find the heating pad. It's that darn refusal to accept one's age thing again.

When I got home tonight, Jim and I played with Dylan until it was time for bed. Jim always does the night time routine with Dylan, while I clean up the kitchen, check my emails, and of course, blog.

I have to interject here to tell you that several months ago I spilled a glass of water on my laptop keyboard. At that time, the computer was still working, but I couldn't type anything. We took it to the Mac store, and got a new keyboard - problem solved....or so we thought. About a month ago, the computer...just...died. I've never seen anything like it. This strange shape appeared on the screen, like an alien life form sucking all the contents out of it to take back to its planet for research. Jim, (the computer savvy one in this family) did everything he could think of, but he deemed it...well, the technical term he used was F@#$#!

Since then, I have been forced to use Jim's computer. I do not allow myself to eat or drink anything anywhere near his computer, due to crippling fear that I will somehow destroy his computer too.

Tonight, when I turned on his computer...

My heart immediately jumped out into my throat! I couldn't breathe! "No, no, no, no, no, no, no!", I muttered. I clicked on "Okay" - nothing. "This.cannot.be.happening". I leapt, (yes, leapt, with a sore back, mind you) from the couch, ran up the stairs two steps at a time, and jumped into Dylan's room.

"Jim?! Did you use the computer today?!"
"Yea, why?", he replied.
"Jim! There is something wrong with the computer!" (Me, about ready to pass out)
"What?! What do you mean?" (He follows me down the stairs, looks at the computer, and I finally notice that he is smiling)
"Jim!!!! What did you do?! Are you trying to Kiiiillll me?"

If you can't read that, it says, "Uh Oh! This computer has experienced a complete system meltdown. If the problem is not addressed immediately, serious issues may arise. Is it possible that you spilled liquid on this computer? You have 10 seconds to shut down to avoid possible hard drive explosion. Praying is recommended."

Okay, now I admit that I am a total sucker for falling for such an obvious scam. What kind of computer message says, "Did you spill water on your computer recently? Praying is recommended?!" I just figured Mac guys are cool and snarky. You've seen the commercials! Oh, okay, I feel like a dweeb. A really big one.

Oh, but don't worry. He's going DOWN! I don't know what I'll do, but it will be good. Really good. I'll think of something awesome, but right now, I just have to remember where that darn heating pad is.