Saturday, August 30, 2008

I'm Guest Posting on Motherscribe

On December 28, 2007, I left a comment on a new blog that I had somehow stumbled upon. The author of the blog, JCK, from Motherscribe, had just done a very long, involved meme, and I wrote, "Thank goodness you don't like me enough (yet) to make me do one of these". Yet! Here it is 8 months later, and I am guest posting on her blog tomorrow! I love when I get what I want! HA!

I knew the first time I read one of her posts that we just had to be friends. Who wouldn't want to be friends with her? She is a talented writer, who writes about raising a BOY and a GIRL just 10 months apart, with honesty and humor. She sees the beauty in the little moments of being a mom, and she celebrates them. She writes with candor about the struggles of raising children. She is REAL. She is funny, and she is fun. I love to read stories about her and her husband E, because you can just tell they are an adorable couple, and their sex life is smoking! (She writes odes to his luscious bottom, so one has to assume). Then there is her fishnets. My husband refers to her as "the fishnet chick". A woman who cleans in her fishnets, with a feather boa knows how to keep life interesting. Her poetry inspires me, and one day I hope to sit across from her, sipping drinks, (hers will be a JD and Whiskey), munching on chocolate, reading each others poetry, and of course, laughing. I just know there will be laughter.

I really don't want to let her down, so could you PLEASE all go over there and read my guest post tomorrow, and leave a comment, and if you're not reading JCK, you are missing out.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Nice Mommy

One day this week, Dylan was sitting on my lap facing me, and I was asking him, "Where's my nose? Where's my ears?" Each time, he pointed, until I said, "Where are my cheeks?" He basically slapped my cheeks, and I said, "Ow! Dylan! That's not nice! You have to be nice to Mommy!" He looked at me, real serious, then stroked my cheek, like he was petting the cat, and said in the sweetest little voice ever, "Nice Mommy". Then I had to mop myself up off the floor, where I had melted into a big pile of Mommy goo. Oh, the sweetness.

Since that day, I will say, "Nice Dylan", and he will always reply "Nice Mommy", and I LOVE it. I can't get enough.

Dylan and Jim look so much alike, and have such a strong bond, that sometimes it is easy to feel a bit left out. I keep looking for ways that he is like ME.

Today Dylan was being especially, uh, toddlerish, and I was worn out. He was whining about wanting juice. "Juice! Juice! Juice!" I figured I might be willing to dispense a little of said juice IF I got something out of it. I said, "Nice Dylan", then waited. Nothing. I said, "Dylan, say Nice Mommy", and I swear he smirked before saying, "Nice Juice!"

Sweet, but Snarky - he IS my kid!

What Would You Do?

If someone asked you "What would you do for your child?", your answer would probably be "Anything". The love one has for their child/ their children is overpowering and makes us capable of truly remarkable things.

As I watched the Olympics this time around, I kept thinking about the strength, willpower, and determination that those athletes all have. I wondered what drove them to be the best. Some of the things that they can do makes them seem almost superhuman. They seem like heroes with those medals around their necks, like the best of humanity.

But, I've been thinking about it, and I think every mother and father out there does miraculous things. I think we all deserve a medal.

Like the single mom, who works 3 jobs just to make ends meet and provide what she can for her kids.
Like the father, who rushes home from a stressful, long day at work, so he has time to roughhouse with his kids before putting them to bed.
Like the mom who has a million things to do, but gets down on the floor to play "just one more game" with her preschooler.
Like the dad, who goes to work extra early, so he can come home to walk his son to his first day of school.
Like the mom, who skips lunch at work, so she will have time to pump breast milk.
Like the dad who takes money out of each of his hard earned paychecks to save money for his children's college educations.
Like the mom, who finds the strength to get up each morning to take care of her children even though she feels numb after losing her baby.
Like the dad, who goes to every one of his son's little league games, screaming and encouraging him from the stands.
Like the mom who leaves her child in the hand's of the doctors and nurses who will be performing surgery and helping her get well, her heart heavy with worry.
Like the dad, who feels like he doesn't know his kid, because he has to travel and be away so much for his job.
Like the mom, who takes care of the children, and keeps everything running smoothly in their home, while her husband is away at war and she misses him like crazy.
Like the mom who cries in the bathroom at work, because she misses her child, and wishes she were home with him.
Like the dad who takes a personal day so he can take his child to a doctor's appointment.
Like the mom who searches and searches for a preschool that will encourage her children's creative spirit - for one that allows them to thrive and be happy.
Like the dad who gives his preteen son "the sex talk", without laughing when he says the words "penis" and "vagina".
Like the mom, who drops off her daughter at college, waiting until the car pulls away to cry because she will miss her so much.

As parents, we do little and big things all the time that are miraculous. They might seem commonplace, and we probably never get appreciation or admiration for them, but to one person, (our child), they are extraordinary. We are their hero, even if they don't know it yet.

We all deserve medals, although I suspect that this guy is winning the gold.
(Warning: Do not watch this at work, or around your husband if he is uncomfortable with blubbering women! You will need tissues).

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Back Online!!!

-It was a hot day in August, and the Verizon employees were sweating, miserable in their tiny cubicles. Suddenly, and without warning, a deranged woman burst through the doors of the building, screaming hysterically, "WHO DO I HAVE TO SLEEP WITH TO GET INTERNET SERVICE?!?" When no one answered her, she screamed, "I'M GOING TO ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME! WHO DO I HAVE TO SLEEP WITH TO GET INTERNET SERVICE?!?"

A brave man approached the crazy woman, and spoke to her in the tone he usually reserved for disgruntled customers. "Ma'am, I can see that you are upset. Is there something I can do for you?"

The woman answered in a strange, robotic voice, "Press 1 if you would like me to speak English. Press 2 if you would like me to speak English with such a strong accent that you couldn't possibly understand a word I'm going to say. Press 3 if you would like me to transfer you to someone else who won't have a clue what you are talking about. Press 4 if you would like me to ask you to hold please, and then promptly hang up on you. Press 5 if you would like me to transfer you to a person who has absolutely nothing to do with your problem. Press 6 if you would like me to apologize profusely for your inconvenience, then continue to do absolutely nothing to help you with your problem. Press 7 if you would like to listen to bad elevator music until your ears bleed".

The man answered, "Ma'am, I'm sorry. I don't understand. What exactly is the problem?"

The crazy woman, whose eyebrows were frightening the man at this point, leaned down, (she was very tall), and glared into the man's face. She spoke slowly, enunciating each syllable. "I.Haven't.Had.Internet.Access.Since.July 25th. JULY 25th!!! Do you know how hard it is to look for a job, to check your emails, to stay in touch with humanity, to balance your bank account, to blog, to do ANYTHING without the internet?!?" Her voice went up an octave as she screeched, "WELL, DO YOU?!?"

Suddenly, the Verizon employees noticed the bat that the deranged woman had been holding behind her back. The woman swung the bat wildly, smashing the man's computer to bits, and then the next person's computer, and then the next, all the while laughing maniacally and saying, "Well, now you do!" -

Okay, so maybe it wasn't quite as dramatic as that. What really happened is Jim spent hours and hours on the phone, making his way through the maze of incompetence, our turn on date getting pushed back again and again and again, until finally yesterday, (Friday), he called Comcast. They are scheduled to come out next Saturday to get us hooked up. If you understand how our luck has been going lately, you can guess what happened next. One day later, (today, Saturday), Verizon called to tell us the internet is ready to go. Yep. But, hey, that means, I'M BAAAAAACCCCCKKKKK! I missed you people!

It's late, and I really have a lot to say/write and I'm going to apologize now, because there is no way I can catch up with all the posts I've missed. If you wrote one that you really, really wanted me to read, and comment on, let me know. Otherwise, I'll start being my faithful self starting tomorrow night. It's great to be back.

Sunday, August 3, 2008


No, I don't have internet access yet at the new house. We don't even have a phone yet. THAT is a whole ugly post in itself full of rage and ranting about how Verizon sucks and their customer service is an insult to mankind. I am at Panera Bread. Now that is an establishment I can rave about - free internet access!!!

So, what's been going on? Well, where do I start? We moved HALF of our stuff last Saturday with the help of Jim's totally awesome cousins, (Chris and Tim, you're the best!!). I say HALF because we have so much CRAP that it is going to take a whole other day of moving at some point! I am convinced that the house has some kind of rare disease in which when crap is taken out of the house, more grows in its place.

On Wednesday, (4 days after moving into the bigger, much more expensive new house), I lost my job. Heh, yea, "lost it" - where the F did it go?!? My employer called me and told me that her in-laws came into town unexpectedly and "dropped a bombshell on them, that will require them to make many cutbacks, childcare included". Now, the irony of this is not lost on me. The last post I wrote, I said "I'm thinking I need to be off next week, too, because I don't want to miss this stuff". TA-DA!! You're off next week! And the week after! And, indefinitely! It's really funny! And by funny, I mean *^@#!$%$$$##*(#*@(#*$&$%*(@*(@!!!!!!, but you know, still...funny.

Oh! And it's my birthday on Tuesday! "Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, I'm the proud owner of 2 houses, but I have no money!" (Toot-Toot - me blowing my noisemakers)

I think I'll try to read a few of YOUR posts now. Maybe things are going well on your end?