Tuesday, September 8, 2009
I Can't See Through These Bushes
Dylan started preschool today. Well, technically he went last year, but it wasn't the same. It was a "Mommy and Me" class, so I went with him, and the program fell apart, (due to lack of involvement), by November.
This year he is in the Two's class again, since he won't turn three until November. (Why are they so strict with the birthdays?!) This year, however, he goes without me. GASP! I need to get a grip.
Now for two mornings of each week, I won't know...
1. What he is doing.
2. Who he is playing with.
3. How he is feeling.
4. How other people are treating him.
For someone who might have control issues, this is difficult. The first three really aren't so bad.
1. He will be playing, doing art projects(bringing home paint splattered clothes with a layer of glue/glitter/or play-doh on them), eating a snack ( I hope he saves some for the other kids!), participating in music time (I hope I know some of the songs he comes home singing, or can at least understand the words!), sitting for circle time (Gosh, I hope he sits!), and going to the bike room, (I hope he doesn't run over anyone!).
2. He will probably play with anyone who wants to play with him. I have a list of the kids names, so that will help decipher the stories I might hear at home.
3. He will most likely be feeling happy, happy, happy! Today, for the first day, I got to stay in the room for a while. There was screaming and wailing by several of the kids. Dylan, on the other hand, walked in and before I could even say "Bye", was off playing.
I think number four is often the hardest for parents. It certainly is for me. For 2 1/2 years now, he has only been treated kindly by the people around him. For the most part, he doesn't know what disappointment, rejection, and cruelty feels like, and I would like to keep it that way. What will he do if someone treats him badly?
Life, out there in the big, scary world, without mommy, is only going to get harder. I guess all I can do is trust that I have helped him develop the self esteem that he needs.
Or, like I told a friend of mine, I could buy a set of binoculars and hide in the bushes.