I haven't been ranting much lately. Have you noticed? It's not because everything in my life is perfect. It's not. Part of it is that there are things I can't write about on my blog. Part of it is that I really do try to focus on the positive, as much as possible, especially when it comes to being a mother.
I love being a mom, and I love spending time with Dylan, but I think you should know, things aren't always sunshine and rainbows. Take Sunday, for example. Jim was putting Dylan's new sandbox together while Dylan and I played outside in the yard. Sometimes I wonder what my neighbors are thinking, as I hear myself yelling, "Don't throw that toy! It will break!... Don't dump water on my shoes!...Don't touch the hose!... Keep the birdseed in the birdhouse!..."
I really didn't want to spend the morning yelling. I wanted to have fun, so I suggested a game of keep away after we played in the water table. We chased each other around the yard, both of us giggling. After a while, though, it was time for nap. When I told him in 5 more minutes it would be nap time, he said nothing. When the 5 minutes were up, I said,
"Okay, it's time to go in".
Dylan: "No! I'm not!"
Me: "Yes, you are Dylan! It's time for nap. When you wake up, you, me and Daddy will go somewhere".
Me: "Come inside... right NOW!"
D: "NO, I'm NOT!"
Me: (Thinking).. Oh boy... I am hot and tired... I don't have the energy for this... Maybe I could build the sandbox? (Looking over at Jim, who is trying to get the mismatched holes to line up)... Maybe not...
"Dylan, if you don't come in now, I'm going to carry you in LIKE A BABY, and you'll sit in time out!"
(I grab him and try to wrestle a ridiculously strong 38lb squirming wet noodle into the house).
Me: Great. Now I am wet, dirty, and sweaty. I'm going to need a second shower. "Take your wet clothes off and then sit in time out".
Me: Did he just say "WAH"? He's mocking me? At 3 1/2? "DYLAN! TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF!"
Me: Oh no, he didn't! "You just lost books before nap!"
Me: "I'm not reading you books before nap now".
(He took off his wet clothes, and threw them at my face!)
Me: "DYLAN! THAT WAS NOT NICE! Now go sit in time out!" Yes, a naked time out. What would Super Nanny say?
(He sat in time out, and apologized. Then, I told him we needed to go upstairs for nap).
D: "NO! I'm not!"
Me: Are you kidding me with this? "If you don't come upstairs by the time I count to five you are losing treat after dinner! One...Two...Three...Four...Oh crap... FIVE! NO TREAT!"
(At that point, he scurried up the stairs and as I was putting on a diaper for nap, he asked...
Me: "WHAT?!" Oh geez, I need to calm down. "Yes, Dylan?"
D: "What would be next?"
Me: "What do you mean? Oh! What would you lose next?"
Me: "Do you really want to find out?" Please don't find out. Please don't find out. I want to go to dinner. I need to go to dinner.
D: (Hopping into bed) "No, that's okay".
Me: (As I walked down the stairs) "Sunshine and rainbows... Sunshine and rainbows"