Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Human Pin Cushion

Alternate title: I Must Be A Robot

Do you remember this post? My doctor wanted me to get a blood test, to check my thyroid, cholesterol, and a few other things that I can't even remember. I'm just a mess. Well, shortly after that appointment, I went back to the doctor's office on a day Jim had taken off, so he could watch Dylan. The lady tried twice to get a vein. Then, she actually sent me home. Yep. She told me my veins are so tiny that I would have to go to a lab, "where people do this all day, and know how to deal with people like you".

Since I had to fast, which meant having to go in pretty early, I didn't want to have to ask my parents to babysit. I waited until Jim was able to take another day off - today. I dropped Dylan off at school, and the plan was that if for some ridiculous reason I couldn't make it back in time, that Jim would pick him up.

I went to the hospital lab, where I figured people would know how to deal with "people like me". I was number 11. (Remember that). I explained my SITUATION to the first lady who would be so lucky as to attempt to take my blood. "Super tiny veins that roll...have to use a pediatric needle...go into shock and the blood just trickles out...have NEVER gotten it on the first try... always an ordeal...blah, blah, blah" I have told the story numerous times, and each time the people are still surprised. This time was no exception. As a matter of fact, this time was the WORST EVER.

The first lady tried twice in my left hand. Then she made a phone call, and I could hear her talking about me, using terms I couldn't understand, and I heard her say something about a "finger prick"?! WHAT?! She asked me how much water I had to drink before I came. "Well, they told me about this before, so I drank 3 bottles of water this morning. I almost didn't make it here without peeing my pants". "You're still dehydrated", she explained. ????

Then, lucky lady number 2 was called in to "give it a try". I was busy finding my "happy place", but she kept bringing me back to the present, asking "are you okay"? "YEP! FINE! SHUSH!!!" She tried once in my left hand, and then once in my left arm. I'm not sure what happened in my arm, but it hurt like a (not nice word I can't write on my blog). I have a pretty high pain thresh hold. I mean, I gave birth without drugs, and I gave the pain a rating of 4 (1 being no pain, 10 being kill me now), when minutes later, when checked, they were screaming, "Oh my gosh! There's the head!!" But, when lady number 2 tried pricking my arm I cried.

That was when lucky lady number 3 was called in. I had the pleasure of meeting all three nurses who were working today! The three of them stood around discussing me as if I wasn't even there. Didn't matter. I was happily sunbathing at the beach, sipping a Pina Colada. Lady number 3 stuck me in my hand, then apologized, and said I have the worst veins she has ever seen. YAY! I do so like to be different.

On try number 6, in my right arm, she finally got one. BUT, it was trickling out. They only got half of what they needed before she had to pull the needle out. She told me, "I don't think we got enough. We can quit, and you can come back another day. Or, I can try one more time. We aren't ALLOWED to stick you more than 7 times". I looked at her and said, "I.DO.NOT.WANT.TO.COME.BACK.HERE". So, on the 7th try, she got another 1/2 of what she needed. I am praying it is all enough, because I might hurt someone if I have to go back in.

When I stumbled out of the room, feeling a bit light headed and extremely weak, I heard the lady call out the next number. "Twenty three?!" Yep. 23!


Mary said...

Ouch! That is horrible :(
ps.....I hope your tests all come back okay!

The Girls' Mommy said...

Holy Crap that sounds miserable! I hurt just reading it! I don't think it would help the actual vein issue--but for the pain part of it, see if your doctor will write for a numbing lotion. Abs gets her blood drawn once a month and I have this lotion that I rub on her arm and then wrap in plastic wrap. By the time we get to the office she's numb, so even if it takes several tries she doesn't feel it (she still screams like a maniac, but she's 7...)

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

My mom has what they call rolling veins. She has so much trouble with it. Luckily I seem to be pretty good so far so the vampires can drain me pretty easily.

What a nightmare, but I hope the tests come out OK. Dealing with hypothroidism is not fun, though I think yours would be the other way, judging by how skinny you look! :-)

blue china studio said...

Jen! That sounds so awful. I'm not good at getting my blood drawn so this sounds like just an absolute nightmare. Owie!

I hope your tests come out okay too.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

That is crazy. I think you need to start calling ahead to get the best lab tech they have--that makes all the difference--at least it couldn't hurt.

Hopefully the results are better than the experience.

JCK said...

Oh, Jen. I am so sorry. That sounds absolutely horrible. I hope that the news was good, and that you are healthy and fine. Just overtired. :) Sending hugs your way.

Elissa said...

oh geez jen. i don't even know what to say.