This is BAD!

My day didn't start out well. As I left for work, Dylan had a meltdown, crying pitifully and reaching out for me as I left for work. Ouch, my heart! When I got to the car I realized I didn't have my cell phone, but there was no way I was going back in to redo that goodbye, so I left without it.

When I got to my employers house, there was a note reminding me that Grace had speech today, so I would have to take the girls straight there after I picked them up from school. Their dad had packed a lunch for the girls to eat before speech. I had forgotten about speech, and packed something for myself that needed microwaved. So, I got to sit there, my stomach growling, my mouth salivating, while they picked at their enormous lunch time feast like birds. They left almost 3/4 of the food uneaten, but knowing where those hands have been, and the fact that they had touched all of the food, kept me from eating a single bite of it. So, I was grouchy. I had only eaten a granola bar for breakfast. Oh well, we would get back to their house around 2:00, and I would eat then. Not exactly.

When we got to the house, I grabbed the assortment of papers, drawings, notes, stuffed animals, etc. in the car, instructing each of them to carry one item. (Any more than one, and you get drama and papers flying all over the yard). We ran in the pouring rain to the door, and I put in my key, and pushed the door - BANG! "What?!" The chain lock was on. "Oh, come on!!". We ran over to try the other door. The storm door was locked. I exclaimed, "This is BAD. This is very BAD"! Cue the parrots.."This is BAD. This is very BAD. This is BAD. This is very BAD", and so on. "Okay", I said. "The sliding glass door in the back is never locked. Let's go back there". "This is BAD. This is very BAD"...from the parrots. The gate to the yard was locked! I pulled a lawn chair over to the gate, climbed onto it, climbed onto the gate, then over the banister to the stairs, while the parrots were squealing "Miss Jen, we're getting all wet!". "Yea, me too", I replied, before finding the sliding glass door was also locked. Reverse climb. "What are we gonna do, Miss Jen?", asked Bella. "I gotta pee", exclaimed Grace.

We ran back to the car, and I cursed myself for not going back in for my cell phone earlier. I tried to quickly think of a place that would have a phone, a bathroom, and would tolerate 2 loud preschoolers. "To McDonalds!" That started the chorus of "Can we eat there? I wanna eat there! Can we?". Well, taking children to McDonalds and not letting them eat, is like taking a kid to Disney and not letting them ride the rides. "First, we pee. Then, we make a phone call. Then, we eat!" As soon as we got into McDonalds Bella grabbed a whole handful of straws and put them in her pocket. "I'll deal with that later", I thought. Grace was nearing the point of peeing her pants, so we all rushed in to the ladies room. While Grace peed, Bella passed out straws to women as they came out of the stalls. "Here you go. A straw for you". "Um...thanks", replied the first victim. "It's a new service McDonalds is offering", I explained.

While I called their mom's cell, Bella gave the customers entering the building their straws. No answer from their mom. "Guess we'll eat", I said. They ran over to the counter, and started telling the guy what they wanted. He barked at them, "YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT YOUR TURN! THERE'S A LINE!" I thought, "Geez, chill buddy". When we got up to him again, the girls were grabbing and touching everything, and he again barked "DON'T TOUCH THAT! LEAVE THAT ALONE!", before I could even tell them to put stuff back. "Wow, this isn't a museum, it's McDonalds. If you aren't kid friendly, go work at my Giant Eagle where nastiness is expected" (I said in my head, unfortunately). Since I only had enough cash for their lunches, I didn't order anything.

After we ate, I called their dad's cell, and found out that the right side of their garage door is always open. I had checked the left side, and upon finding it locked, assumed the right side would also be locked. "There's a lot of stuff in there, but you'll be able to get in", their dad told me. When we got back to the house, and I opened the garage door, I realized "a lot", stood for "A LOT!!!" I literally had to climb into the house, as the girls shouted, "Be careful, Miss Jen! Don't hurt yourself!", from the driveway. I finally ate my lunch at 3:30pm.