Friday, May 30, 2008

Madness! Madness, I Say!!

On Sunday, Jim and I took Dylan to the zoo. Let me start by saying that I love the Pittsburgh Zoo. One family that I worked for had a pass to the zoo, and I took the girls there so many times that I knew the animals' names. "Hey Jomo! How's it hanging?"

It's a beautiful zoo, and it is laid out well, (except maybe they could have put that hill by the bears at the beginning, because by that point, the adults, err I mean kids don't have the energy to go up a friekin' hill). I took Dylan to the zoo many times last year, but I was looking forward to seeing how he would react now that he is older.

Jim and I figured that since it was Memorial Day weekend, that most people would be out of town and the zoo would be mostly empty. Apparently, due to the astronomical gas prices, the only place the ENTIRE CITY OF PITTSBURGH could afford to go was to the zoo. Yes, I swear the ENTIRE CITY OF PITTSBURGH was there. I have never seen so many people at that zoo, and I have been there when it was pretty crowded.

In order for Dylan to actually see any animals, we had to take him out of the stroller, and put him on Jim's shoulders, before the two of them pushed their way through the mass of humanity. That left me to navigate my way through the maze of strollers . As I bumped, and was bumped into, I started to notice a pattern. The further we went into the zoo, the more and more miserable the adults' faces became, including my own! It was hot, and I was sweaty, and people kept TOUCHING ME!! (Have I mentioned I'm a bit claustrophobic?)

This is how it was my head...
"Are you kidding me? You have to stand right there? You can't move about 2 inches to the right so I can get this dang stroller out of this crowd of people? EWWW! YOU! Behind me! Could you stop breathing on the back of my neck?! You're grossing me out! (Bump) Okay, that's the third person to run into me and not apologize. Get me outta here! I can't breathe! GAG! That hairy guy just wiped his sweaty arm against mine! I'm going to be sick. Where are Jim and Dylan? I lost them again. Is this my stroller I'm pushing?"

Yep, pretty much like that. At one point we came to a Y, and Jim asked, "Which way?" I answered, "Well, to the left is Kid's Kingdom, and to the right is home". Want to guess which way Jim wanted to go?

*I have an interesting little addition to this charming story. The day that we decided to go to the zoo, along with the ENTIRE CITY OF PITTSBURGH, the zoo was robbed. That's right - robbed. Some guy robbed a zoo employee in broad daylight, right around closing time. We probably smiled at him as we passed him on our way out. The news report said he got away with between 30-40 Thousand dollars!! From a Zoo robbery! Who knew zoo's brought in that kind of cash? Well, I guess when the ENTIRE CITY OF PITTSBURGH turns out, big money is made.

I don't know about you, but when I think about family-friendly activities, armed robbery is always involved. Now, I'm not telling all of you out of towners this to scare you, and prevent you from ever coming to our wonderful zoo. Then, again, if you don't come maybe the next time I go, I'll be able to get close enough to actually see some of the animals.


Kellan said...

I do love the animals, but I am not a fan of the zoo. We have lots of hills at our zoo and not enough places (benches) to sit when you are tired - I hate that. And ... we always seem to go when it is too dang hot.

Have a good weekend, Jen - see you soon - Kellan

Karen said...

Sounds like the time we got the bright idea to go to the Baltimore Aquarium on Mother's Day. Who knew it would be packed then, either?

I'm claustrophobic as well, and nearly had an episode just reading that. ACK!

Jonny's Mommy said...

I hate crowded places. I hate I couldn't go there at all...if I can't see the animals...screw it. :-)

But hey, glad you had fun.

What did you do with all that money you stole anyhow?

Mia said...

You have obviously not been to the Zoo for the Halloween Boo Bash thing. That is a true nightmare. Traffic just to get into the zoo was backed the entire length of ARB and Washington Blvd. for hours.
We were actually in the gates, through the zoo and back on the road in 1 hour flat. Whoa - Yuck. I feel your pain!

Julia said...

DUDE that's a lot of money!

When we lived in DC we lived right next door to the National Zoo's main gates (but you knew that). We used to go out front to let Abbie play in our tiny courtyard, and we always watched the people coming and going at the zoo. Every family going in was laughing and smiling and excited, and EVERY SINGLE family leaving was yelling and grouchy and generally pissy. Without fail.

Kinda sad that that's how we spent our Saturday's now that I think of it...oh well.

JCK said...

Zoos can be awfully smelly. But, the kids love them!

Your adventure sounded very claustraphobic indeed! Glad you escaped with your wallet intact.

Kellan said...

Hey Jen - I hope you all are having a good weekend. Take care - Kellan

Anonymous said...

All the things you highlighted are the exact reasons why I don't take my kids out into public nearly as much as I should! Or more precisely, why we stick to the more obscure, out-of-the-way, guaranteed-to-be-darn-near-empty-on-Wendesday places. I don't play well with others.

And, forget the bank! Criminals are missing out if they aren't hitting up the zoo!

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

I'm still waiting for my share of that heist, you know.

Hopefully the next time you go to the zoo it won't be nearly as crazy. Currently, I'm trying to make sure you have to go on either June 20th or 23rd, but I'm still waiting to hear back for sure. ;-)

Did you do a mullet count, btw? That's one of my favorite zoo activities. The mullet is alive and well at the zoo.

Janet said...

I hate crowds too. We've deliberately avoided zoos on the weekends. We did once go to Colorado Springs Boo at the Zoo with our nephews (way before our own kids), and with 4 adults, 1 5-year-old, and 2 1-year-olds, we managed fairly tolerably. But it was still crowded. And cold.
So far our zoo experiences (Knoxville, Nashville, and Roanoke) have been good.

Sparx said...

Lordy... You are brave! I think I would have seen those crowds and run the other way, sounds like a nightmare.

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