There is a funny thing about a public blog. It's out there, for anyone to stumble across. At times, it can be a bit disconcerting. Once, I went on a job interview, and the woman had googled my name beforehand, came across my blog, and read until she knew way more about me than I was probably comfortable with her knowing.
Because my blog is public, there are many things I can't write about - certain family members, certain friends, work, etc, etc. There are also things that I could write about, but choose not to for whatever reason. I try to keep my blog upbeat. No one wants to read a blog that is constantly "Wah, Wah, woe is me with my boo boo face". But, there is a consequence to only writing the positive in your life - your blog is not an accurate portrayal of your real life. It is a rainbow sprinkles and sunshine version of your life, and sometimes the people reading your blog might start to wonder why their life sucks, and yours is all rainbow sprinkles. I'm an extremely "real" person in real life, (some might say too much so), and I would like to be "real" in my writing, but I also want to be fair.
Is it fair for me to write certain things about Dylan? If Jim has a problem, I probably wouldn't write about it. I figure he wouldn't want everyone to know about that. Would Dylan care at this point? No, but he might in the future. So, that is what I wrestle with.
I feel, though, that I need to discuss something. I remember a couple years ago, when Dylan was 2, and I was visiting a friend of mine with 3 kids. She said, "After you were here the last time, I told my husband that Dylan knows his letters, and so now he's on me to get X to learn his. He thinks he's behind!" I assured her that her son was not behind, but it was still awkward. If I say "My son is just advanced", I sound like an idiot, and probably just make her feel worse. If I downplay Dylan's intelligence, I feel like I am being unfair to him. I want to be proud of his accomplishments, but without putting other people off, sounding like a bragging fool, or making people worry about their child's abilities. I don't think I've figured this out yet.
When I moved Dylan into another preschool in December, the teacher asked to talk to me a couple of weeks later. "We feel he is advanced, and would maybe be better off with the other four year old class, because that group of kids is a little more advanced than this group. Would you want to switch classes?"
That was already his third preschool class, so I decided not to switch again. A couple of weeks ago, his teacher said that "...he isn't really interacting much with the other kids". I don't know if it is because he is more advanced than this group of kids, and doesn't have much in common with them. It could be that, or it could be that he is around adults the majority of the time, or it could be that he is just bad at making friends. I can't help but worry that this will be an ongoing issue. When you are "different" than everyone else, it is often harder to fit in.
If you didn't know this already, I am tall - 5'11". In junior high and high school I was taller than most of the boys. I'm also clumsy, so it was a lovely combination for that awkward period of adolescence. I was always a fantastic speller, and one of my teachers would have spelling bees every Friday. The whole class would start out standing, and if you missed a word, you sat down. The person left standing was the winner. I would keep spelling words correctly until I couldn't take everyone looking at my freakishly tall, awkward self another minute, and then I would throw it. I know how being "different" can make you insecure. I don't want Dylan to feel that way about being smart. I don't want him to purposefully not do his best, just so he can fit in. But I do want him to fit in. I want him to have friends.
Where am I going with this long-winded post? I'm not even sure. I guess I just want to say that I'm not trying to portray Dylan as this perfect, genius, little boy with no faults. I choose to focus on the good. Some days are rainbow sprinkles, but somedays are not. Really, we should all remind ourselves that what people put on their public blogs is only part of their lives. We're not seeing the whole picture, we're only seeing it through the colored glasses (rose, in my case) they choose to show from their blog.
