Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde, Mr. Magoo, and the Innermost Beast

My husband is probably the most laid back person you could ever meet. Until he gets behind the wheel. The Dr. Jekyll part of my husband very rarely gets mad at anyone. Even when I get mad at him, he usually just gets very quiet or gets his feelings hurt. (It is so hard to fight with someone like that!) The Mr. Hyde part of him can barely get out of our driveway without uttering a profanity. When someone does something to offend him, such as to cut him off, he has an out of body experience. He races after them, riding their bumper, and swearing at them, in the hopes of what? That they will pull over, come over to his window, and humbly beg his forgiveness for their stupidity? Not quite. What does happen is his face turns a bright shade of red, his blood pressure surges sky high, his entire body tenses, the veins in his head bulge, and he puts himself in danger, not to mention just wasting his time.

Since we had my son 9 months ago, I've worried even more about Jim's temper behind the wheel. Will he act like a maniac with Dylan in the car? When Dylan learns to talk, will his first word be "#@!*"? I didn't realize until a couple days ago, that there might be someone else in the family to worry about. Me! I was trying to turn into traffic on a very busy road, with Dylan happily babbling in the backseat. A woman in the long line of traffic was looking down, not paying attention to the fact that the light had turned green, so she left a huge gap in the line of cars in front of her. I saw the opportunity and took it, pulling in front of her. As I looked in the rearview mirror, I saw that she was flipping me off! WHAT?! I didn't do anything wrong! I snapped. I returned the favor and screamed "NO, F%$K YOU!" Then she started honking the horn at me. Luckily I was turning onto another road at that point, so the battle ended, and my sanity returned. As I looked in the rearview mirror again, there was my son, looking scared, his eyes wide! Maybe the horn honking scared him, or maybe his mommy screaming like a banshee? Wow, did I feel foolish. Kids have the amazing ability to put things in perspective, don't they?

I call my dad "Mr. Magoo" when he drives, because he is blissfully unaware what is going on around him. Someone cuts him off, he doesn't notice. Someone speeds past him at the speed of light, he doesn't notice. A whole line of cars drives erratically behind his (driving 45mph on the parkway), honking, giving him the finger and shouting out the windows, he doesn't notice.

What is it about getting behind the wheel that releases our innermost beast? What is it that makes normal, calmly functioning adults behave like raving lunatics? I don't know, but I'm going to try to be a bit more "Magoo" from now on, for my son's sake.