Sunday, February 24, 2008

Seriously?!

I every so bravely made the trip today to that place I hate, but somehow keep ending up at, Giant Eagle, to do some desperately needed grocery shopping. I have been known to say that I will NOT shop at Walmart, because the people there scare me. I might have to add Giant Eagle to that list. Did you ever have a day that you are convinced that alien life form does exist and is alive and living smack dab in your neighborhood? Then again, if the aliens were in Giant Eagle today, they would all be like, "Meep, Beepity, Beep. Humans are freakin' wierd! I'm outta here!"

First I came around an aisle and almost ran smack dab into an extremely well endowed woman, whose boobs were hanging almost completely out of her skin tight t-shirt (Uh, it's winter, lady). As I stared (it was impossible not to), I read her shirt. It said, "Yes, they're real, and they're fabulous". Seriously?! That amazed me on so many levels. First, that she thinks they are fabulous - trust me, in a few years she's going to need a crane to hoist those babies up to an acceptable level. Secondly, I would think she would be so sick of people looking there, that she would want to avoid attention to that area. Thirdly, she was shopping somewhere, saw that shirt, and said to herself, "I have to have that!" Amazing.

If that wasn't enough to scar me for life, what I saw on the way out, definately was. As I was walking towards a guy, he sneezed. He didn't put his hand up to cover the sneeze. He just let it rip. A huge gob of snot shot out of his nose, towards me! I am not kidding! He still had a huge snot trail hanging off his nose, and he put a finger to the other side of his nose, and BLEW it onto the sidewalk! I couldn't help myself...I went "OhmyGod! Are you kidding me?" What do you think he did? Did he stop? Apologize profusely? Turn red and rush into the store in total embarassment? Nope. He grinned at me!
Some days I wonder why I leave the house.

16 comments:

Nicole said...

First of all... your first description could have easily been a daily sight at our local WalMart... its full of bright people like that wearing trashy clothing. Love it. Ugh.

Second... I'm about to throw up thinking about that guy blowing a snot rocket on the sidewalk. EWWW!

Kellan said...

Oh Good Lord!! The lady in the shirt and the snot blowing guy - that was a bad day at the Giant Eagle - for sure! I'd have thrown up at the sight of the snot blowing guy - YUK! Good for you for saying something - what a PIG! Have a good week Jen - see you later. Kellan

PS - the way I've been lately (HA) - I'd have probably said the same thing you said, only I'd have SCREAMED IT!

Elsie Button said...

UURGHGHHG! the big boobed lady story made me laugh!

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Thank the grocery store gods we obviously don't go to the same Big Bird. I prefer the snooty version over by the Village and the worst thing you'll see there is the old Jewish lady trying to convince people to buy the kosher meat.

Mind you, the Big Bird closest to my house is the one where the security guard shot a guy for stealing some sausage. THAT is why I am willing to do some travelling for my groceries.

Jonny's Mommy said...

I'm sorry...do you live near me or something? This is totally like my local Wally World....are people not gross?! Oh man, I could share a few stories myself someday and I probably will....thanks for the laugh! Now excuse me I have to go hoist my fabulous boobs up -- or should I say 'formerly fabulous" because my child drained them into dry husks with his nursing.

Janet said...

If you hadn't said Giant Eagle (of which I have never heard) I'd swear you live in my neighborhood. i've seen the boob lady frequently, although not in that specific shirt. My favorites are the "belly shirts" worn with barely-cover-the-pubic-hair jeans, and the giant roll of fat hanging out on all sides.
As to snot guy, we have spitters. Spitting is the sport of choice here. Everyone spits, whether they chew tobacco or not, even the women. Really really gross. I'm gagging just thinking about it, so I'm stopping now.

Joanna said...

Uh-oh if you live in Beaver Falls PA I bet the dude blowing the snot was my Father-in-law. He loves to do the farmer's hankie. Ick!

Jaime said...

Yeah, nasty.
That totally sounds like a WalMart trip to me. I hate going to WalMart too. However, I've found that if you go there before 9am, it's surprisingly quiet. Don't even get me started about why it's quiet. Something to do with the quality of people who shop there probably don't have jobs or get out of bed before 9am.
Oh, oops, did I say that out loud??

Jen said...

Nicole, "a snot rocket" - that is a perfect description! (Does that mean you've seen it too?)

Kellan, Yep, you're a screamer, I'm usually a mumbler. My way is much safer.

Elsie, It's funny, but it's not.

BBM, I didn't hear that on the news! I always say I'm going to travel further so I don't have to go there, but then I'm in a rush, and I find myself, shaking my head in disbelief once again.

Jonny's mommy, HA! My boobs are too small to every need hoisted, but after seeing that lady, I don't mind so much.

Janet, do you live in West Virginia?

Joanna, There is actually a term for it?! I was blissfully unaware.

Jaime, Nope, sorry, I'm still not going.

Sparx said...

ack! You are kidding me! That's just made me go off my dinner. As for Missus Tits... well, horses for courses. Perhaps she's a pro and they pay her way? Brrrr...

Pam said...

EWWW! ICK!!! GROSS!!!!

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Here's the: story. It turned out to be over a stolen sausage. I'm not even lying.

And that? is why I drive fifteen minutes to go grocery shopping. Well, that and the organic section kicks booty.

BTW, your visual of the Dora presentation is not that far off. There were books, coloring pages, markers, AND crayons involved. It was a pretty comprehensive presentation for a 2-year old who was a little pissed that I called somebody-or-other a fat cow.

Nicole said...

The recipe is super simple...

I baked two chocolate cakes (out of boxes). Before they cooled I just crumbled them up (kind of chopped them up- you could wait till they cool but I think chopping them now helped them cool faster). And once it was cooled I made 2 of the large boxes of instant Jell-o chocolate pudding as well as crushed a package of oreos. Then, in a big huge bowl I layered crumbled cake, oreo, some Hershey's syrup and pudding, and then repeated. I kind of mixed it up a tad bit after that too. Refrigerate for about 4 hours before serving.

Janet said...

No, Jen, I'm in Kentucky, but the southeastern corner of the state, about 2 hours from West Virginia.

JCK said...

"If that wasn't enough to scar me for life." LMAO!

Shellie said...

Oh how very very scary!!!!!!!!