I every so bravely made the trip today to that place I hate, but somehow keep ending up at, Giant Eagle, to do some desperately needed grocery shopping. I have been known to say that I will NOT shop at Walmart, because the people there scare me. I might have to add Giant Eagle to that list. Did you ever have a day that you are convinced that alien life form does exist and is alive and living smack dab in your neighborhood? Then again, if the aliens were in Giant Eagle today, they would all be like, "Meep, Beepity, Beep. Humans are freakin' wierd! I'm outta here!"
First I came around an aisle and almost ran smack dab into an extremely well endowed woman, whose boobs were hanging almost completely out of her skin tight t-shirt (Uh, it's winter, lady). As I stared (it was impossible not to), I read her shirt. It said, "Yes, they're real, and they're fabulous". Seriously?! That amazed me on so many levels. First, that she thinks they are fabulous - trust me, in a few years she's going to need a crane to hoist those babies up to an acceptable level. Secondly, I would think she would be so sick of people looking there, that she would want to avoid attention to that area. Thirdly, she was shopping somewhere, saw that shirt, and said to herself, "I have to have that!" Amazing.
If that wasn't enough to scar me for life, what I saw on the way out, definately was. As I was walking towards a guy, he sneezed. He didn't put his hand up to cover the sneeze. He just let it rip. A huge gob of snot shot out of his nose, towards me! I am not kidding! He still had a huge snot trail hanging off his nose, and he put a finger to the other side of his nose, and BLEW it onto the sidewalk! I couldn't help myself...I went "OhmyGod! Are you kidding me?" What do you think he did? Did he stop? Apologize profusely? Turn red and rush into the store in total embarassment? Nope. He grinned at me!
Some days I wonder why I leave the house.