The book meme

The funny and talented JCK has tagged me for that book meme going around. I make it sound like a nasty virus, don't I?

The rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.


I found it wonderfully ironic that the book that was nearest to me, (that wasn't a children's book), happened to be called "Out of my mind". How appropriate. It is by a man that I have always found amusing and delightful - Andy Rooney. If you don't know who he is, he is the old guy at the end of each 60 Minutes episode, (tick, tick, tick, tick...), who makes witty observations about whatever happens to be on his mind at that time.

Have you ever noticed that I don't often follow the rules? There are only 2 sentences on page 123 of the book, so here they are. Then, I'm going to add a few of my favorite quotes I've found so far.

My problem is that having opinions is what I do for a living. If I didn't have opinions, many of them uninformed, I wouldn't have anything to write about.

On aging: Then there's the commonly accepted notion that wisdom comes with age, as if this made aging an occasion for joy. We all know, however, in our heads if not in our hearts, that this is not true. We may know more, but our brain doesn't work any better, and probably less well, than it ever did.

On living rooms: People don't live in the living room, they watch there. It has become the watching room.

On hammocks: Hammocks are a genuine vacation item. They are hard to get into and hard to get out of, so once you're there, you tend to stay. That's vacation kind of time.

I want his job, (when he retires, of course). I'm sure I couldn't do it as well as Andy, but I know I wouldn't run out of topics.

Back when I wrote this post, I asked Jim, "I'm a positive person, right?" He answered, "Yes...you're positive, but you are also cynical". "Cynical? I don't think I'm cynical. I think I'm critical. I like to critique stuff".

He insists that I'm cynical, so of course, I looked it up.

-cynic: 1.a faultfinding captious** critic 2.one who believes that human conduct is motivated wholly by self-interest
-cynical: implies having a sneering disbelief in sincerity or integrity

**Don't you hate it when you look up a word, and the definition contains ANOTHER word you don't know? Dang, I feel stupid now.
-captious:1. marked by an often ill-natured inclination to stress faults and raise objections 2. calculated to confuse, entrap, or entangle in argument

Geez, that sounds like a horrible human being! It doesn't help my argument that "critic" is IN the definition of "cynical", does it? Well, I looked up critical next.
-critical: may imply an effort to see a thing clearly and judge it fairly; often it implies harshness in judging.

Well, that sounds better, but it still probably wouldn't be used as a compliment. I wonder what word Andy would use to describe himself? Jim also said that I'm a lot like Andy, so you can just call me amusing and delightful.