I wrote a post, and I had a poem I wrote a few years ago that I wanted to include with it, but I have searched the whole house, and it has disappeared. Those of you who have moved recently - how long did it take for you to feel organized again? I'm going to hold off on that other post. While looking, I found something I wrote 15 years ago, when I was 21 years old. Turns out, I'm not SO different at 36 than I was at 21.
When You Grow Up
When you're a little kid, grownups ask you, "So, what are you going to be when you grow up?" The possibilities are endless. You can say anything, because at that moment you can be anything you want - a movie star, a ballerina, a fireman, a baseball player, president. No one holds you to that - to your dream of being whatever you say you'll be when you grow up. But, when you're an innocent, wide-eyed child, full of hope, everyone wants to know what you hope to be.
Suddenly, one day when you're much older, someone asks you, "So, what do you do?" You automatically answer that you're a mailman, or whatever, but it wouldn't be that. You would say "I'm in communications" to build it up because that's what you "are". Suddenly, people aren't asking you what you want to "be" anymore. They want to know what you "are". You've made your choice. Your destiny is chosen.
But, there are so many things to "be", how can you pick just one? Me, I want to "be" kind. I want to "be" loving. I want to "be" a good friend. I want to "be" a good wife. I want to "be" a good mother. I want to "be" successful. I want to "be" deliriously happy and content. I want to "be" an 82 year old grandma who skydives and drives a Harley to visit her grandkids.
I want to see it all. I want to experience it all. I want to "be" it all. I don't want to grow up.
6 comments:
A great personal life-long philosophy :)
Ooo, I want to be deliriously happy, too! Let's pick that one! I'll do it with you.
I don't want to grow up either. Ditto on the 82-year old grandma on a Harley. That would be dang awesome. My grandma was like that -- though she didn't ride a Harley or anything, but she was always on the go and always doing crazy things. It was such a delight to watch her right up until she was 93 just go at life like she was in her 20s. If it hadn't been for her cartoid (spelled that soo wrong) artery, she wouldn't have stopped. Her mind was strong right until the end.
Well....not sure where all that rambling came from. Oh! I'm the boondock rambler! :-)
Jen, I think that is so cool that you wrote this at 21. Really thoughtful and reflective.
You ARE a great mommy. And many other things. You've lived up to yourself and that is special.
It is so important to distinguish who we are from what we do. You were very mature.
My motto used to be "I want it all and I want it NOW".
Now my motto is "I want to give it all to those that make me deliriously happy".
I've already accepted my peter pan syndrome and I'm never never giving it up. EVER. (get the nevernever reference, I know you did).
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