Friday, February 5, 2010

I'm Not Even Sure Where IT Is Right Now

I try to keep this blog positive, for the most part, for several reasons. One, because I try to be a positive person in "real" life, so why be a downer on my blog? Two, because I want people to enjoy reading my blog, not feel the need to go grab a Prozac after reading one of my posts. Three, because I don't really want documentation of my problems.

To some, it might look like I have IT all together. But, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Come closer. Lean in. (Whispering)... I don't. (Don't tell anyone).

I was sick with bronchitis and a bruised rib the whole month of December. Because of that, I didn't get anything done. It hurt trying to bring heavy laundry baskets up two flights of stairs, so not much laundry was done. I was too weak to clean. I really just focused on getting through my days, doing just the absolute necessities.

In January, I learned that registration for preschool was coming up in the middle of February. Since then, finding a new preschool for Dylan has been my main focus. I researched schools online. Then, I asked the 50 or so members of the Mom's Club for school recommendations. Then, I toured 5 schools. I was amazed at how different they all were. My head has been swimming with information, confused and overwhelmed.

I remember when I taught preschool years ago, and a mother actually cried on my shoulder because her son didn't get into the school she wanted him to go to. At the time, I thought she was insane. Now, I can relate. Choosing a school is stressful!

Spending a lot of time focusing on schools has meant that other things aren't getting done. I'm still not caught up from December, and now I'm getting further behind! Work has been stressful (some of you know my employer's dog ate my boots this week - the only winter boots I have). Dylan has been... three. The person who coined the phrase "terrible twos"? Their child clearly hadn't reached three yet.

The thing that really bothers me is that I haven't been making a lot of time for friends lately. I missed a good friend's birthday. I let the day go by - the week go by even - without a card, an email, a gift, or a call.

My kitchen looks like this...

I am simply not brave enough to show you what my bathrooms look like.

BUT, I chose a preschool!! It was down to the last minute, hours from the deadline, me torn between two schools. Of course, I don't know if I made the right choice. Only time will tell, but at least I can focus on something else for a while. Cleaning the house might be a good idea? I better get IT back together, or I'll start doing things like this. (By the way, when I saw that milk, I laughed... until I cried. Which should have given me a clue that my mental state was a bit... off. Either that, or I'm becoming my grandfather).


The Girls' Mommy said...

The milk! The milk!!! That is a riot. (and such a pretty blog layout, but I digress)

Feather said...

sick and still running a household? nearly impossible, yet us moms are expected to do it every day. it's okay to let it go. i'm in awe of you for 1. losing it and writing about it. you know i favor vulnerability. and 2. posting pictures of your madness. quite daring, if i may say.
you'll get it back. it all starts with getting in to a good school! yipppeee!

Amber said...

Funny you should mention being a downer on your blog, because I have felt lately that I should put a pessimistic warning label on mine. But the honesty in a blog is refreshing. And seeing your kitchen validates me as a mother (pathetic, I know). Makes me feel okay with my occasional (read: daily) brush with insanity. And I think you are teaching your little one an important lesson about being perfectly okay with being imperfect. Seriously this post makes me love you. I wear my shortcomings on my sleeve and I know people can take it or leave it. I sure hope they take it!

ps. Link to me all you want! If we can't laugh at ourselves, then all the crap we experience as parents would be pretty depressing.

pps. I can't wait to hear all about this preschool you choose!

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

You really had a tough December and now I'm having a tough January, so you know I can relate a bit. I'm glad you found a school though! You're ahead of me...I'm not sure what we're going to do!

Hang in there with all the rest!

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry you have had such a rough go of things lately! I hate the snowball effect, and how it takes WEEKS to catch-up!

And you are miles away from being a Debbie Downer! I've got that crown firmly planted on my head and am not giving it up anytime soon!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I still remember my year like that--I didn't finish digging out until late April.

I hope you get your head above water soon.

I'd love to hear about the school!

JCK said...

Congrats on finding a preschool, Jen! It IS a stressful process!

Hope you all are not still buried in reading backwards.