Today I actually said, "Yay! It's poop!". My son just had his first normal bowel movement since last Thursday, so it seemed like something to celebrate. Remember the show "Kids Say the Darndest Things"? Well, kids also make you say the darndest things.
Some other examples...
I actually uttered the words, "I don't want to eat chocolate chip cookies". That was while pregnant and VERY nauseous. I doubt you will ever hear those words come out of my mouth again.
"If you won't let me say what I want, then I won't play, and I don't want to be the pig!!" I told the five year old that I used to be a nanny for this after playing pretend with her stuffed animals for about the hundredth time. She would be all of her stuffed animals and give me the pig every time, and she would not only dictate the storyline, but what I, as the pig, was supposed to say!
"If you think I'm wiping your butt, you are very, very wrong!" I said that to the seven year old I used to be a nanny for whose mom was still wiping her butt at the age of seven!
"I WILL take you to school in your pajamas, and you WILL be embarrassed!" I told the four year old I'm currently watching this when she refused to get dressed for preschool. I was hoping I wouldn't have to follow through, but I would have. With my luck, it would catch on, and all the kids would start insisting they get to wear pajamas to school.
And, my personal favorite,
"Put those things away!" This I yelled at a line full of five year old boys, waiting to use the bathroom, at the preschool I used to work at. They were all standing around, comparing the size of their penis. Apparently the obsession over the size starts very early.
I'm sure all of you have some to share. I'd love to hear them!
8 comments:
I've got one for you. "Get your tongue out of that dog's mouth." I still find it hard to believe I had to say that one out loud. Repeatedly.
Oh, I loved this list! That last one is hysterical! Have a good weekend - see ya.
OMG those are hilarious. Good for you for remembering them. I'm sure my kids would remember a ton that I've said.
Just a few of the things I've uttered recently:
"The dog food dish is not a snack bowl."
"Why is there poop in your hair?"
"We do not share our lollipop with the dog."
And of course the ever-classic one that BB's Mom said. G-R-O-S-S
We all forgot the one that I'm sure everyone repeats over and over and over. "Quit eating that." That being everything from dog food to crayons, Play-Doh to shopping cart handles, paper to plastic, and everything in between.
Something I thought I would never, ever hear my sons say:
"Mom, can you come outside and be all-time quarterback?"
I was literally stunned with the request, but I did go outside because, after all, how hard can it be to throw a football??!!
BB's mom, Eww, eww, eww, and oh yeah...EWW! Dylan likes to eat fuzz, and anything else he finds on the floor. What I don't get is why they eat things that they have tried a million times before, and they know doesn't taste good?!?
Kellan, hope you have a good weekend, also!
Laundrylessons, Glad they made you laugh.
Karen, people seem to say a lot of funny things when they have a kid and a dog!
Bia, Good for you for rising to the challenge. I throw like a girl.
The outside is not your personal toilet!
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