(I didn't forget about Part 2 to "Being Healthy" - it's coming soon)
Recently, I discovered that a couple I know is having marital struggles. There were discussions of separation. This shook me a bit, because on the surface, they look happy. I started to wonder how many other couples I know are having similar issues. I started to ponder what it is exactly that makes some marriages work and others fade away.
One night this past week, none of our shows were on, so Jim *allowed me to watch a sappy love story, "P.S. I Love You". I read the book, and also saw it in the theatre, but I wanted to watch it again. It is odd that I wanted to watch it again, because if you've seen the movie, you know it is about a young woman whose husband died. It is a very honest, well written film, and of course I relate to the main character. (*I wrote that as a joke for Jim. We don't "allow" or "not allow" each other to do things. I don't think couples should try to control each other. We share our feelings and give each other our opinions, and hopefully the other person cares enough to let that influence their decision in some way.)
After watching the movie, I went up to bed, and stood there for a second cursing. The sheets were in the dryer, probably damp and wrinkled. On my way down to run them through the dryer again, I complained to Jim about what I did. Later, when I started to put the dry sheets on the bed, Jim appeared and offered to help me. As I pulled my side and he yanked his, I looked over at him and smiled, my heart filling with warmth. A small gesture, his offer to help, but so sweet. Those little moments can pass us by so easily , unnoticed and unappreciated.
It is really quite remarkable - marriage. The idea of choosing one person to spend the rest of your life with! They are basically saying "You are the person that I want to argue with about travel plans. You are the person I want to roll over and see every morning, bed head, morning breath, and all. I will deal with your crazy relatives. I will make your dreams my own. I will listen to you nag me time and time again to hang up my coat. I will listen to you tell me the same stories that I have already heard a billion times with a smile on my face. I will love you because of who you are, and also in spite of it."
It is hard, and it is work, but it is fabulous and amazing, sharing your days, your ups and downs with another person. You all know how I feel about Valentine's day, so this post is not a Valentine's day post and will not be posted on that day, because what I really just want to say is...
"Jim, I love you EVERY DAY".