Farts Are Funny

When I taught preschool I dreaded the "ketchup lunches". We all ate the same meal prepared by the culinary genius they had hired from the Pennysaver. Yes, the teachers also. We were supposed to "model good eating habits", thus being required to eat preschool sized portions of whatever crap they were serving. The days that the ketchup bottles arrived on the rolling carts holding our cuisine, I always cringed. They seemed to always have just enough in them to make THE NOISE. I would squirt some ketchup onto my mini sized fries, "Ffhhpptt", followed by laughter, snorts, and a regular giggle fest. I would try to keep my cool, while passing it to one of the many kids screaming "I WANT KETCHUP!" "Ffhhpptt" - more fits of laughter. Over and over the ketchup bottle would be passed, it would make THE NOISE, and I would try in vain to regain control of my lunch table.

When I was in my twenties the guy I was dating had me pinned, and was tickling me mercilessly, when suddenly he let loose the loudest fart I ever heard. The horrified look of embarrassment on his face was so funny, that I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. My laughing got him laughing, and we both were clutching our sides, gasping for air, by the time we regained our composure.

The first time I met his parents we went over for dinner. During dinner, his parents' dog suddenly decided to plop his big fat body down on my feet, (I had my shoes off), and farted on my feet! I tried with every fiber of my being to keep from snorting and spitting my drink out. I was doing a good job of controlling the laughter waiting to erupt, when the smell hit my date's nose. He gave me a look, like "You've got to be kidding me!", and that was it. I lost it. "It was the dog!" I exclaimed, while laughing hysterically. That broke up the whole table. We were all laughing so hard that their other dog went berserk. She ran around the table over and over, barking as if to say "What's wrong with you people?"

Even Dylan, at only 11 months apparently thinks THE NOISE is funny.





It is one of life's little mysteries. I don't know why, but let's face it, farts are funny.