Monday, November 5, 2007

Farts Are Funny

When I taught preschool I dreaded the "ketchup lunches". We all ate the same meal prepared by the culinary genius they had hired from the Pennysaver. Yes, the teachers also. We were supposed to "model good eating habits", thus being required to eat preschool sized portions of whatever crap they were serving. The days that the ketchup bottles arrived on the rolling carts holding our cuisine, I always cringed. They seemed to always have just enough in them to make THE NOISE. I would squirt some ketchup onto my mini sized fries, "Ffhhpptt", followed by laughter, snorts, and a regular giggle fest. I would try to keep my cool, while passing it to one of the many kids screaming "I WANT KETCHUP!" "Ffhhpptt" - more fits of laughter. Over and over the ketchup bottle would be passed, it would make THE NOISE, and I would try in vain to regain control of my lunch table.

When I was in my twenties the guy I was dating had me pinned, and was tickling me mercilessly, when suddenly he let loose the loudest fart I ever heard. The horrified look of embarrassment on his face was so funny, that I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. My laughing got him laughing, and we both were clutching our sides, gasping for air, by the time we regained our composure.

The first time I met his parents we went over for dinner. During dinner, his parents' dog suddenly decided to plop his big fat body down on my feet, (I had my shoes off), and farted on my feet! I tried with every fiber of my being to keep from snorting and spitting my drink out. I was doing a good job of controlling the laughter waiting to erupt, when the smell hit my date's nose. He gave me a look, like "You've got to be kidding me!", and that was it. I lost it. "It was the dog!" I exclaimed, while laughing hysterically. That broke up the whole table. We were all laughing so hard that their other dog went berserk. She ran around the table over and over, barking as if to say "What's wrong with you people?"

Even Dylan, at only 11 months apparently thinks THE NOISE is funny.

It is one of life's little mysteries. I don't know why, but let's face it, farts are funny.


Kellan said...

Jen - that was so adorable, him giggling like that!!!! I just love to here those little ones laugh - thanks.

Anonymous said...

I love his laugh!!
He made me smile.
much respect~d

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

That video is absolutely adorable!

You need to come over to my house. Two hours of Bulldog farts will cure you and Dylan of thinking farts are funny. The smell might render you unconscious, but I can guarantee you won't be laughing.

Karen said...

Yep, nature's never-ending joke. Farts are indeed funny. My *father in law has a farting machine and Micah presses the button and giggles uncontrollably over and over again.

*I do not claim any responsibility for my FIL whatsoever. Please don't judge me by him.

Bia said...

When I pick up carpool in the afternoon I have four middle school boys in the back. All it takes is one little indiscretion from one boy, and the whole car can't stop laughing (but not the driver . . . she's just annoyed!)

Kristi *sweet* Sauer said...

I agree, totally funny! Once in college my roommate and I were eating in the cafeteria that was practiacally empty on a Sat. morning when some dud farted so loud, his entire chair vibrated. We laughed and laughed until we almost died!!
Its hard sometimes as a teacher to keep a straight face when the kids fart at inappropriate times too!

Zoe said...

yeah. my house is all about farts. these damn boys are brainwashing my dear daughter. she cracks up when she farts. ugg.

Jen said...

Kellan, I have some more funny ones coming soon.

KK, Glad he made you smile!

BBM, Nope if bulldog farts are anything at all like Daschaund farts (the kind who farted on my feet), I wouldn't be laughing. Unless it was on my feet during dinner maybe.

Karen, your FIL sounds like a fun guy to me!

Bia, Middle school boys are in a world of their own.

Kristi, Yes, teachers have to pretend to be mature, classy, and sensible - hard to do sometimes!

Zoe, dear daughter is lucky to have brothers - wish I had some, (I'm an only). They will make life interesting!

Valarie said...

My two boys think the "pull my finger" game is the best game in the world. Yup, farts are funny. Come on, even the word "fart" is funny!
Thanks for visiting my blog! :)

ilana (Helen) Pengelly said...

Too wierd my post the other day is also based solely on farts. Check it out at

Becky said...

Farts ARE funny. I never tire of those kinds of jokes. Period.