Puppy

(Opening my eyes)...

Hey! Where am I? What the...? I can't seem to move. I can't get up! What is happening? Where am I? Let me think...

I remember waking up this morning, and going in to say "Good morning" to Dylan. "I have Puppy!", he said. "Yes, I see that. Good morning, buddy! How are you?" "I have Puppy!", he repeated.

We came downstairs to eat breakfast, but he wouldn't come to the table. "Where's Puppy?", he asked me. "I don't know, Dylan. Did you bring him downstairs?" "No". "Okay, then go up and get him". I opened the gate and watched him go up the stairs, then disappear down the hall to his room. I waited a few minutes, then called up, "Dylan, do you have Puppy?" "Yea", came the reply, but no Dylan. "Dylan, come on! Bring Puppy, and come eat breakfast!", I yelled up the stairs. Nothing. He got sidetracked by something. I went up the stairs to redirect him and Puppy back to breakfast. Puppy had to sit on the table and watch Dylan eat.
"Hi, Puppy! I eating a waffle!.... Puppy, I eating a banana!...Mommy, I get down, and get food for Puppy!" "No, Dylan, stay there and eat your food. Puppy doesn't want to eat. He's not hungry". "I need to get Puppy food!"

Later, as I changed his diaper, he stuck Puppy in my face, wanting me to kiss him. "Dylan, I'm trying to change your diaper. I don't want to kiss Puppy right now. Dylan! I can't see what I'm doing! Get Puppy out of my face!" After I finished his diaper change, there was Puppy in my face again. After I made out with Puppy, I told Dylan we needed to get ready for music class.

We went upstairs to get dressed. "Where's Puppy?" "PUPPY IS DOWNSTAIRS WHERE YOU LEFT HIM!!!", I yelled, the poster child for unending patience. "I get him!", he whined. "NO, I'LL GET HIM!!", I yelled, as I stomped down the stairs to look for the stuffed animal who has taken over my home. "Mommy! You got Puppy!", Dylan happily exclaimed. "You got Puppy, Mommy!"
"Yes, I did, now can we get ready for music class"? "Yea!" I looked over to see Dylan hugging and kissing Puppy, and I realized with shock and disgust that I am jealous of a stuffed animal. A stuffed animal wiped by a snotty nose, and dragged all over the house, until it is no longer possible to make him look clean. Jealous.

In the car, on the way home from music class, I heard "We go home and see Puppy?" I had the sudden urge to keep driving. When we came in the door, he immediately started calling "Puppy?! Where are you?... Oh, there you are Puppy!"
As I started making lunch, there he was holding Puppy out at me. "What, Dylan?" "You want Puppy? You want to hug Puppy, Mommy?" "NO! I DON'T WANT TO HUG PUPPY! AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT PUPPY! AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THE WORD "PUPPY" FOR THE REST OF THE DAY! AS A MATTER OF FACT, IF I HEAR YOU SAY "PUPPY" ONE MORE TIME, I'M GOING TO COMPLETELY LOSE MY..."

Oh, right. That explains the white walls and this strange jacket. I have to get out of here! (Sigh) Then again, it might be nice to just lie here a few minutes in this quiet room.

Hee Hee Haw Haw

Dylan has toys in his bedroom upstairs, and also in the family room/playroom downstairs. (Basically, it should be called a playroom at this point, because since we still cannot afford to buy new furniture, the ONLY thing in the room is toys and my piano).

One day, while standing in the playroom, I looked down and saw this toy...


It annoyed me for some reason. That toy was supposed to be upstairs. If all the toys keep migrating downstairs, there won't be anything for him to do upstairs, I thought to myself. Also, the two blue gears were missing. Missing pieces bother people with control issues, such as myself. I asked Dylan, "Where are the two blue pieces?" He immediately answered, "Upstairs". "Well, then, let's take this toy upstairs and put the blue pieces back on, okay?" "Okay, Mommy!"

When we got upstairs, he ran ahead of me into his bedroom. When I carried the toy into his bedroom, there he was holding two blue pieces...to this toy...


Confused? I was. Here's why...


Um, where did the other one come from? Last I knew, I only bought one. I remember buying it at a consignment sale a year ago. I remember bringing it home. I remember Dylan being afraid of it for a few weeks, refusing to go anywhere near it. I remember his gradual warming up to the toy, until he was yanking the gears off as it was still turning. I do NOT remember buying a second one. I do not remember bringing a second one into the house. And, well, that would be stupid. I do not remember anyone else bringing a second one into the house. I have asked everyone I can think of it they bought the second one. The answer is always no.

What is going on?! Remember back when we were moving, I joked that the old house had some weird disease where items were doubling themselves? Well, unless toy number one birthed toy number two when I wasn't looking, or my 2 year old climbed out of his window, (on the second floor), when he was supposed to be napping, walked to the toy store, pick pocketed some cash, bought the second gear toy, walked home, and climbed into his window with it, I have officially gone insane.

What really bothers me is - where are those two blue pieces?! Yea, because THAT is what should bother me.