Human Pin Cushion

Alternate title: I Must Be A Robot


Do you remember this post? My doctor wanted me to get a blood test, to check my thyroid, cholesterol, and a few other things that I can't even remember. I'm just a mess. Well, shortly after that appointment, I went back to the doctor's office on a day Jim had taken off, so he could watch Dylan. The lady tried twice to get a vein. Then, she actually sent me home. Yep. She told me my veins are so tiny that I would have to go to a lab, "where people do this all day, and know how to deal with people like you".

Since I had to fast, which meant having to go in pretty early, I didn't want to have to ask my parents to babysit. I waited until Jim was able to take another day off - today. I dropped Dylan off at school, and the plan was that if for some ridiculous reason I couldn't make it back in time, that Jim would pick him up.

I went to the hospital lab, where I figured people would know how to deal with "people like me". I was number 11. (Remember that). I explained my SITUATION to the first lady who would be so lucky as to attempt to take my blood. "Super tiny veins that roll...have to use a pediatric needle...go into shock and the blood just trickles out...have NEVER gotten it on the first try... always an ordeal...blah, blah, blah" I have told the story numerous times, and each time the people are still surprised. This time was no exception. As a matter of fact, this time was the WORST EVER.

The first lady tried twice in my left hand. Then she made a phone call, and I could hear her talking about me, using terms I couldn't understand, and I heard her say something about a "finger prick"?! WHAT?! She asked me how much water I had to drink before I came. "Well, they told me about this before, so I drank 3 bottles of water this morning. I almost didn't make it here without peeing my pants". "You're still dehydrated", she explained. ????

Then, lucky lady number 2 was called in to "give it a try". I was busy finding my "happy place", but she kept bringing me back to the present, asking "are you okay"? "YEP! FINE! SHUSH!!!" She tried once in my left hand, and then once in my left arm. I'm not sure what happened in my arm, but it hurt like a (not nice word I can't write on my blog). I have a pretty high pain thresh hold. I mean, I gave birth without drugs, and I gave the pain a rating of 4 (1 being no pain, 10 being kill me now), when minutes later, when checked, they were screaming, "Oh my gosh! There's the head!!" But, when lady number 2 tried pricking my arm I cried.

That was when lucky lady number 3 was called in. I had the pleasure of meeting all three nurses who were working today! The three of them stood around discussing me as if I wasn't even there. Didn't matter. I was happily sunbathing at the beach, sipping a Pina Colada. Lady number 3 stuck me in my hand, then apologized, and said I have the worst veins she has ever seen. YAY! I do so like to be different.

On try number 6, in my right arm, she finally got one. BUT, it was trickling out. They only got half of what they needed before she had to pull the needle out. She told me, "I don't think we got enough. We can quit, and you can come back another day. Or, I can try one more time. We aren't ALLOWED to stick you more than 7 times". I looked at her and said, "I.DO.NOT.WANT.TO.COME.BACK.HERE". So, on the 7th try, she got another 1/2 of what she needed. I am praying it is all enough, because I might hurt someone if I have to go back in.

When I stumbled out of the room, feeling a bit light headed and extremely weak, I heard the lady call out the next number. "Twenty three?!" Yep. 23!