Saturday, March 1, 2008

A Saturday Night With A Toddler

Dear Dylan,

Tonight was ridiculous. You know that don't you? You usually do such a good job at restaurants. I mean, usually as long as I keep shoving the food at you, you are pretty content to be out of the house. Usually, you sit in your highchair, you charm everyone around you, and you keep the noise to a minimum. Usually people around us are smiling, and commenting on your cuteness. Tonight...well, you were there. What happened?

Your Confused Mom

Dear Ma-Ma,

We were just sitting there a loooong time, and no one was even coming over! I was bored! There was nothin' cool to look at, and did you see those people around us Ma? They were totally ignoring me! I tried smiling, and babbling at them nicely at first, but then I had to start screaming to get their attention. Then, they were shaking their heads and mumbling about how we should have went to McDonalds or Chuck E Cheese. People are rude, Ma.

Your Insulted Son

Dear Attention Addicted Son,

Yes, dear, people are rude, but screaming and dumping milk on your head usually won't win them over. Then, we had to go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond, where you were Bad, Boisterous, and Beyond. I mean, YOU are the main reason we had to go there in the first place. If you would keep your mitts out of the garbage can in the kitchen, we wouldn't have to go looking for one that is "toddler proof". When you refused to sit in the cart, or even be held, what happened there?

Your (Shocked At Your Strength) Mom

Dear Ma-Ma,

I don't understand you, Ma-Ma. You begged, and pleaded, and coached me for so long, wanting me to walk. Now, I can, and you want me to sit? In a cart? Or be carried? Like a BABY? It was a big store, Ma. There was so much to see, and touch, and knock down, and learn about. You said you were happy I'm curious about stuff.

Your Curious Son

Dear Using My Words Against Me Son,

Yes, you're right. What was I thinking? But, did you have to make such a scene? Like when you flung yourself on the floor, and went all limp noodle on me, so I couldn't pick you up? Or when I tried to change you in the ladies room, and you walked out when I turned my head for one second? Or when you were running through the store, oblivious to the people you kept running into, while screaming "AAHH! AAHH! AAHH!" People were staring.

Your Embarassed Mom

Dear Ma-Ma,

People were staring? I didn't notice. Ma-Ma! Wasn't it SO FUNNY when we got home, and even though I pretended I couldn't open it in the store, the very first thing I did when Da-Da opened the $60 garbage can box, was lift the lid? That was SO FUNNY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(Hiccup)

Your Really Funny Son

Dear Comedian,

No, that really wasn't funny at all. But, you know what was? When Daddy put you IN the $60 garbage can! That was Hilarious!

Your Ma-Ma Who Loves You, Even On Nights Like This One


jenny said...

hahaha! great post.

Burgh Baby said...

I do not miss those days one bit. If they were in the distant past, I would probably be laughing hysterically at your post. Instead, I'm remembering that pain all over again. Ugh.

Lijy said...

that was really funny.

Pam said...

LOL! That really was too funny! I love that picture too.

The Girls' Mommy said...

I am laughig so freakin hard, love it

Kellan said...

What a cute post Jen!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I loved it and he is too adorable for words! It's always something with those little ones, though - always something!!

I just wanted to thank you for the really nice comment you left over the weekend. I too, wish we lived next door to one another and could visit and sit and talk and drink iced tea! I appreciate you too - you are a good friend and I am lucky to have found you have you in my life!! Have a good day and I'll see you soon. Kellan

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

OK, I was laughing so hard when I read this. And then I had to show it to my mom because it so much reminds me of Jonathan and the stage he is in now. It is crazy how similar Dylan and Jonathan are. What is Dylan's birthday again? I know he and Jonathan are very close in age. Thanks for sharing this creative post. Soooo funny!

Janet said...

Oh my. Yes, we are living those days (again). The Queen was the superior tantrum thrower, but DeBoy is far more capable of getting into things.
Very very cute way of describing the evening!

Jaime Cox said...

Cute post!!
I am seriously done bringing my kids anywhere....

Joanna said...

That is so stinking funny but painfully true.

Sparx said...

Hahahahahaha! Are you sure you don't have MY son by mistake? We took him to Ikea the other day... BIIIIIg mistake...

Sparx said...

PS, I am v jealous I didn't think of this format for a blog first!!!

Shellie said...

How fun! So feel for you on the trash can. Tip, clear out a cabinet and keep the can in there, locked up. Not too accessible for you, but not for him :). On the upside, as Kellan would say, he looks great inside it!

JCK said...

Picture to DIE for! Very funny, clever post, Jen. And I SO identify that boy who runs off.